How Are You? (Delena Fanfiction)

Chapter 19: Filter named 'Trauma'

"Our witness, and in this case, the person who the case is about, maybe step forward and join this chair please." The judge said. I got up, holding the letter in my hand. Every face turned to me. I couldn't look at all of them at once. It made me stressed out. One of the guards stepped towards me to guide me to the witness chair. He walked really fast. I sat down and saw Selena looking at me, so did my aunt. My aunt's intimidating face made every hair on my arms erect. Goosebumps. I quickly looked back at Selena. She kept nodding at me. 'It's okay. You can do it' is what I could tell from her eyes. A man walked towards me with a book in his hand.

"Left hand on the book, please. Raise your right." I obeyed his order. "Will you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole and nothing but the truth so help you, God?" He asked with fancy words. I gave a quick looked at Selena. She mouthed to me while nodding wildly 'I do'. 

"I do." I said, hoping I said the right thing. He pointed at the chair for me to sit down.

"Thank you." The judge said and looked at her papers. I looked at the people who were all staring at me. They all had a small glimpse of compassion in their eyes. As if I was crazy. Perhaps they really think I'm crazy. Perhaps I am Crazy.

"State your name please." Her words made me jump.

"Demi Lovato." I answered, not expecting my voice to be so raspy and soft.

"Is that Demetria Devonne Lovato?"

"Yes." I answered again. The judge nodded at Selena's lawyer, and the lawyer stood up.

"My client says that Miss Lovato has prepared a letter for you, your honor. She adds that this is the best way for Demetria to tell you what she wants." I hated it to be called Demetria. Nobody ever called me that, unless my dad was mad at me.

"I have taken Demi's condition into account and thus will I allow it if she wants to read the letter to us." She wrote something down and looked at me. I was glad she allowed me to read the letter out loud. I suddenly saw a hand waving towards me. I looked up to find out Selena gestured that I needed to get up to read. We had practiced this so many times. It's like I was going to be in a play. I quickly got up and remembered what I needed to do. Thank the judge.

"Thank you, your honor." I stuttered. My voice trembled. I sighed deeply when I felt a lump grow in my throat. I looked at the dancing words, due to the paper that was trembling in my hands. We had practiced it so many times. There was no way back now.

"Your honor," I started. The air I breathed in hardly had a chance to leave my lungs again. I gulped to get rid of the lump, but it didn't work. I looked up. I wasn't supposed to look up, Selena said, it would only make me more nervous. I saw her sitting there, her hands folded together and pressed against her chest. She hoped that I would do well. She raised her eyebrows at me to tell me I had to start. I looked at the people sitting there. A few friends and family of Selena were here. My aunt's family was here too. I saw all of my cousins sitting there in a row. They never knew me. I was already in my room when they were born. They must see me as 'that crazy girl mommy's responsible for'. 

I gulped once more. The lump wasn't going away. I wasn't allowed to cry. If I cried I would only tell the judge I wasn't capable of living on my own with Selena. Though, it still happened. Tears started to form in my eyes. I avoided eye contact with Selena. Boy, must she have been disappointed in me. A tear rolled down my cheek. Time seemed to go slower than ever. I saw how the judge started mumbling something in the guard's ear. I looked back at the crowd once more. My eyes widened. My head needed to be messing with me again. It wasn't my aunt who sat there, it was my father. I never noticed how much they looked alike. He looked at me with the same intimidating look as my aunt did. He was here, out to make me panic. I looked at the letter, it barely had a function anymore. I couldn't read. I wasn't focusing anymore. I placed the piece of paper on my chair to see if it would help. My father didn't disappear, the lump in my throat did. My eyes were locked on him, noticing I was towering above him because of the little platform I was standing on. It was already enough. I knew to myself that I was ready to let this man go. I knew to myself that I was willing to leave this man and join the better life with Selena. I breathe in deeply.