How Are You? (Delena Fanfiction)

Chapter 5: I saw something in you

I placed my stool back after carefully pulling the earplug out of her ear. She needed her rest, it was good that she took a nap. I watched the distracted girl sleeping while I still listened to her songs. I looked around, I never really did that. The room began with a table for the caregivers, followed by the bed with the pretty girl sleeping on top of it. Above her bed, I saw planks placed onto the wall. Every room had those planks, all the bedrooms in this building were built with the same structure. Nothing special was placed on the planks. Just a few books, pieces of papers and a diary. Oh. I didn't know she kept a diary. Though, I wasn't going to read it. That'd be highly disrespectful. I respected her privacy allot, but my curiosity made me poke around her room.

I opened her nightstand and found a little stuffed animal that was thrown in the corner. I grabbed it and studied it. It was a stuffed version of the Sandman. It was dirty and contained stains of blood. A shiver made all the hairs of my skin erect. Oh my God. I didn't even want to think about the memories she had with this thing. I quickly placed it back in her drawer. Next to her nightstand stood her all too familiar chair. The one she sat on when I had seen her for the first time. On this chair, she thought the most astonishing thoughts and daydreamed the most beautiful dreams. The wall behind it contained doodles, smudges, and scrapes. How often must she have sat here? Next to the corner stood the door to the bathroom and next to that her writing desk. I opened a few drawers and found a sketchbook in one of them. I glanced through the pages. Some were really cool and pretty, but some were horrifying. Sketches of screaming faces, of hell and human heads with antlers of wildebeests. And lots and lots of flames. Wow. Her other drawer was locked. Where was the key? I caressed the metal lock with my finger and looked around. But a few moans on the other side the room dragged my attention. The girl, who drew the scary drawings and caused the blood on her own stuffed animal, frowned arduously. The sweat broke on her forehead. Nightmares. I hate nightmares. She didn't deserve them at all, but the fact that she got haunted by her traumatizing memories made it look obvious.

"No." Was all I could make up from her mumbles. I crouched down in front of her. The fact that there was nothing I could do to ease her pain created a big feeling of sympathy in me. I thought that the moment she slept was the only moment where she could actually be free from her pain. The only moment her dreams looked like they could come true. I was wrong. I frowned and placed my hand on her cheek for some reason. Her face was hot and wet, but I didn't care. It felt like I was the only one who was responsible or her. It was my responsibility to help this beautiful girl to grow up to be a decent person. My thumb moved over her shining cheekbone. Her long black eyelashes trembled and fluttered. I felt the sphere. The terrifying feeling she was trapped in since she got this room. The feeling of fever, of having sweat on your forehead while you're actually cold. The feeling of shaking while you try to stay stable. The feeling of having your eyelids descended because you gave up looking for the wonders in this world. She had given up a long time ago.

I got up to get some lunch for both of us. I turned my head to her for one last time before walking out of her room.

"How did it work out?" Kris ran up to me while I placed the food on the plate.

"Uhm, she feels kinda down. She tried to claw her eyes again, I never saw her doing that before." I said.

"Do you know why she does that? I mean you must be really crazy to think you can just do that without nails or anything." She said and grabbed her plate.

"She's not crazy." I immediately defended. "She said she didn't want me to see her."

"By clawing her eyes out?"