Always As You Say (Book One In The Waven Series)

28

I tried not to think of him, of his anger when I walked away, leaving him alive and unharmed in my wake.

He deserved it, truly he did. After all he'd done he deserved that pain, and I deserved to see it happen.

But not now, not by my hand. No, he was going to die slowly, or at least absent of outside prodding.

"This isn't right Nik, and you now it. He is a good man." Her voice was really starting to annoy me, to get under my skin. It was grating, how often she spoke of him and how kindly.

Honestly, what had he ever done for her? What kindness had he shown other than that found in cruelty?

I had been kind, at least for the most part. Hell, I had loved her, and he was far too busy obsessing over me to do the same, so why?

Why did she love him, why did she choose him, over, and over, and over again?

But I suppose that wasn't the best question, wasn't even a difficult one because, if I was being honest, at one point I had loved him too.

Now I know what you're thinking, hadn't I just told Anthony that I wasn't in love with The Waven? And yes that is true, I'm not now and pray I will never be, however that doesn't mean I have never loved him. I did, clearly I did.

So yeah, I understood - understand why she loved him, why he mattered more than I, he was all she ever wanted, and that was alright, or at least it should have been.

But in all truth, seeing the adoration in her eyes every time she so much as looked at him, burnt me to my core. Built a rage so high it almost eclipsed the sorrow.

Because, while I didn't love her then, or at the very least wasn't in love with her anymore, I had been once. And the part of me that remembered that love, hated the thought of her with him.

"Do you really believe that? Or do you just think that if you say it enough it will suddenly become true? He's not a good man Veronica, he never was, at least not in the time that we've known him." She looked at me, her eyes sad, or maybe pitying was a better word.

And how dare she? How dare she pity me for telling her the truth, when she was the one pathetic enough to believe in the lies she fed herself.

"He loves you Nik, and please, before you say how wrong I am to think that, remember that once, you new that with everything you were. I know things are different now, but please, try and remember what that felt like. Why you thought that way, even if you never will again." She pleaded.

And so I did. I thought about how I used to feel, how much I used to trust him, and I realized, I was a complete and utter idiot.

The truth is, in all the time I've known him, he's hardly changed at all, maybe gotten slightly more creative, but no more sadistic. He had always been this, this, awful person, and I fawned over him anyways.

But I also realized, that nothing anyone had said ever made me love him any less, I had to find out on my own what type of person he was, had to teach myself not to love him.

And looking at the beautiful girl in front of me, with eyes of pity and a heart ensnared, I knew that she would have to as well, and if she didn't, well he was dying anyhow and she'd just have to deal with that instead.

"Goodbye Veronica."

"Nik-Nik please, you can't do this. Please, just this once, just for me, do this." She said.

I looked at her and saw the girl I had known, and I knew, I knew, that it wouldn't happen, she wouldn't make the same choices that I did, instead, she would stay with him. And that broke the final bit of hope I had left, and I swear, if you could see a soul, if we even have souls, you would see hers pure and unharmed, or at least as pure a soul as one of us was meant to have, and in mine, in mine you would see an emptiness to rival that of a void.

I think she saw it too, saw the change in my expression, in my eyes as I turned away, but she didn't say a word.

Not because I frightened her, or because she didn't care, but because she knew I would be back, because she knew that when I did return, it would be to do exactly what she brought me here to do in the first place.

Kill The Waven.