I am crippled today because of yesterdays. It is a shame, but I understand I have no one to blame other than the entities I personally made the choice to allow rule over me. It is also a shame that these entities who have grown to love me, possibly as I have loved them, may never realize what yesterday has done to me. I am ashamed of me for choosing to repeat yesterday to fulfill today because all I truly loved and considered sacrificing my time to and for yesterday has gone. I understand I have to do so yet I blame myself for the shame I feel because of what I have to do in order to survive myself.
Is it really a bad thing that I have to point out reason? It is when I point it out to myself. There is always that what if I could have done more? Yet the answer is what if didn't happen, at least I was not the one to make it happen, yet there are extenuating circumstances that always revolve around anything that happens. These are the revolutions that make it happen again and all revolutions are the same. A revolution is a full circle so go ahead and revolt, I really don't mind, I will see you again on the flip side of things and maybe next time I will be in need of saving.
I have taken down and tossed out all crucifixes I have ever owned because of this. I will have no 't' in front of reason with any friend of mine hanging from it. This makes me accountable for all I have done yet will also drag all other parties involved into the mix and hey maybe we can all be friends instead of pushing each others buttons to receive an explosion. Still I am not holding my breathe because I must adapt to what is to come if I am to make my own coffee tomorrow and it very much looks to be that way.
