I don't need to write. I just can so I do. It has a lot to originally do with resolving disputes within myself and that still holds true today. The disputes within myself that I needed resolved are entirely based on other's viewing of what I've accomplished with what limited resources were available to me. Just because I was ostracized early on in life, I use at it as a stepping stone and a resource to build my life's work to revolve around. I am done trying to work against myself to appease a thieving system. So I write about it, and still collect bullshit data too, that is readily available online for our viewing and reading pleasure to remind me why I leave everyone in the first place.
It is all very inspirational in the attitude of loss, which we have all become extremely comfortable choosing for our own existence. This is the problem I see with the world today and I am no longer angry with it nor am I going to choose to promote myself to love in it any longer. As you read my words you will be confused because what seems to be an error on my part is only a misjudgement on yours. This is OK though. It has always been and I will always accept that others have a different view, even to the point others will not accept my views.
Battles will be fought and no wars will ever be won so long as this is to happen, I accept that and I am willing to love for my belief. In this way I will always see myself through. I cannot do a thing to change anyone else's belief system because what you choose to believe in is your choice.
I refuse to even try to change another human being because that has to be done by there own free will. My past may seem far from perfection in every aspect considered but it was perfect for me. I know Love. Life does not matter to me to the point I am willing to end it for myself or my neighbor because I am already dead to the world. Yet I still live in this suite of elements which make up all things in existence, the only one thing I need live with when I wake up tomorrow is myself. If I don't wake up tomorrow it is the elements of my past that have to live with that. I accept this belief even if you don't. It is my choice and yours also. I choose to love until I can live and I am not sure anymore if that can happen in this lifetime because of both my mother's judgement and also my intended mother in laws judgement but whatever. I will never fall out of love. Just to remember, I will Ian and my will is love.
