Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

72. United Front

A note...

"I was.. afraid. Afraid of crying. Afraid of seeing him cry. Afraid of feeling the bond and deciding to stay.. afraid he would fight Blake. I was just.. scared." She cried, her eyes now pouring out the emotion she felt.

I stared at her a moment. "And now you're suffering. The moon has put you in your rightful place." I felt no pity for her. She chose to end her mateship.

Nodding, she wiped her eyes. "I am where i need to be. Yes. Believe it or not... im ... happy? I loved your father. We got to know each other and I loved him. I love you and your brother.. so much.  And im sorry. Im so sorry for everything...  but.. I should have never gone to Blake. Do I regret it? No. Because i wouldnt have you and Deacon.. Deacon.... i feel ashamed we hid his secret for so long and his illness is part my fault since it runs on my side but i loved him. I love the both of you very much. And i want you to know your brother, Zaryn." She seemed hopeful.

A genetic illness?

"Half brother." I corrected. Leaning forward, squinting my eyes, i examined her neck. "I see you're no longer collared."

Her cheeks heated. "No. Im not."

"How did it feel to be humiliated by your own mate?" I rose a brow.. being an ass.

She sighed, looking up at me. "I deserved it. The night you... gave me to him.  The night Blake rejected me.. Gabriel told me he would make me regret ever leaving him.. that he would punish me in the most cruelest of ways. Only.. he didnt mean to mark me that night and he did. So his initial punishment.. turned into something different because he could no longer stomach anyone elses touch. Yes he collared me, leashed me, left me out in the yard on my leash in human form for the pack to ridicule me.. and i hated him for it. The only part that got me through was his touch. That was the only thing that i looked forward to. He made me sit in his lap or the floor beside him like a dog during meals.. I was only to eat what he handed me. I was treated like a dog. Until i became pregnant.  Thats when it all stopped. He doesn't do the other things to me.. but i still have to eat from his hand. Along the way.. during all the time i had to think.. during times i was tied to the zip line like a dog.. or .. inside our living quarters, i thought of how much of an evil female i have become. I hurt Gabriel.  He spent every day after i left becoming stronger.. rising up the rungs of the pack to win me back. But by that time i was already pregnant with you." A guilty look in her eyes

"Whats the point of all this." I asked, impatiently.

She smiled sadly. "I know what a monster i became.  I hurt so many on my quest to make my family proud. I hurt him. I hurt blake. I hurt you... and i want to atone for everything.  I feel like the moon is giving me a new start with this pup.  I want to be a good mother to him but i deserve to be punished... so ive decided once the pup is born... i want to take the lashings."

I stared at her.. bewildered.

She was serious.

"You are joking..."

She shook her head. "No. I want to be selfless for once and give everyone what they want.."

My fist pounded the table angrily.  "And you think lashings are the answer!?! Who does that benefit. Tell me. It benefits you and your own guilt.  Not your pup who needs you healthy. Not your mate who wouldn't know how to handle it or what to do with a newborn! And lashings doesnt dare compare to the twenty three years you were away from him and deceived us! This.. this is selfish! A selfless act is doing something that benefits others that does you no good!!!" I stood up, angry at the audacity of this woman who birthed me.

"Get out." I strode to the door, opening it as i stared at the wall in front of me.. my chest heaving.

Timidly, she rose from her seat.. the waterworks turning on full coarse as she came towards the door.. stopping before she exited to look at me. I avoided her.. breathing hard.