Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

47. Loose Ends

Chapter Soundtrack:
The passengers - Let Her Go

Dedicated to RosieToovey for the song selection

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•°Hey Y'all°•
Ooh i did a double update!
Well.. since it's 1am i guess it doesnt count :/
So.. we have one death down. Anita. That was obviously coming. Now we have one more... awaiting us.

In the next chapter 💀

And we have a secret to uncover.
What's Deacon hiding? Get out your sweet tea and popcorn bc its ab to go doooowwwwn. Make sure you listen to the songs with the chapter if i have one up!

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Nova

Feeling a bit of happiness seep into my shattered soul, my steps became light.

I know rejecting Conrad's offer was the right thing for me to do. I would have regretted it eventually.

I know Zaryn loves me... i do. But he and his wolf are so caught up in losing his pup with Grace that he has put me on the back burner.. it hurts..

im jealous of the time he spends with her..

i deserve to be treated better than how he has treated me.. this entire time.

I feel the truth when he says he loves me.. and i hate that i love him too. I hate that i want him. But i can't do this anymore.

The way he looks at Grace.. he's truthful about not loving her but she is carrying his future. Somehow.. in some twisted way.. he has created this fear of losing his pup to us creating the mate bond.

I can't wrap my head around how he can care about that pup so much that it takes him away from me.. to the point where he puts her before me. I know males.. especially alpha bloods.. they are so paternal. Wolves in general are extremely parental.. Grace has even fallen in love with the pup in her belly. Both of them are so scared that something will happen to the pup that they have both neglected everything else. He spends his time with her in hopes its born.

But if she were to lose it, wouldn't everything be so much easier? For both of them? I guess im heartless or maybe its because i dont know how it feels.

It hurts so bad that i died inside the day i told him i didnt want to be with him anymore. I'm sure he didnt think i was serious.. he figured i would stay away and let him back in again.

Well not this time.

I've been burned too many times by him. My heart is too big.. thats why i love so easily.. thats why i set myself up constantly.

But it makes me think...
I know he doesn't love her.. but he has to care about her. He did things with her.. they are going through this pregnancy together. They talk. He kissed her that one time.. it drives my wolf insane.

It hurts so bad inside, not knowing. I could peek inside his mind if i wanted the truth but im too afraid to do that. I havent accessed the mate bond out of fear..