Sharing Nightmares

Alex Pilalis || The Final Nightmare

To end my sleep paralysis nightmares, I needed to follow his every word.

As I begin my sit-up routine, my mind wanders to Amy. I wish I could call her tonight, to speak to her one last time before I went through with this. But she’d made it clear she didn’t want to speak to me; not after our last argument. If I make it through tonight, she’ll be the first person I call in the morning. I’ll make everything right. Everything will be better after tonight.

I stretch and shake my tense muscles. It feels like I’m about to run a marathon, rather than the nice, relaxing sleep I should be having.

I turn off the bedroom light, and the candles fight the darkness with their dull, yellow glow. I watch the shadows wavering over the room as I run through my checklist. All the windows are closed, the blinds up. My door is closed but not locked. The candles are burning. The new clock I bought continues to tick loudly in the quiet room. 
Fuck, what if this goes wrong? I shake the chilling thought away as I climb into bed. I pull the covers up and keep my arms over the duvet as I lay on my back, legs straight and close together. The way the Filipino man told me to lie.

A sheet of light appears under my door, lighting the opposite wall. The bathroom door closes downstairs. My dad washing up before bed.
God, I hope I see them again, I think as I lay in the gloomy darkness. With my sister married and out of the country, I was the only one left to look after my elderly parents, who had me late in life. Mum wasn’t doing so well these days, and I don’t know what Dad would do without me, or her.

Closing my eyes, I focus on my breathing as I start counting backwards from one hundred. I had to do this right, for them. For Amy. For myself.

I hear the downstairs light flick off and my dad going to his room as my heartbeat slowly relaxes. I begin to feel the onset of sleep. Sixty eight. Sixty seven.

Sixty six.

At some point I become vaguely aware of no longer counting. Had I fallen asleep?

A floorboard softly creaks in my room.

The sound immediately quickens my heart. Oh God, it’s happening.

Keeping still – not that I could move, anyway – I slowly, very slowly, inch my eyes open, keeping them mostly pressed together. Through the dim light, and my blurry, limited vision, I see the shadow in my room.

The shadow man remains still, standing silently near the corner, mostly obscured by the real shadows around it. While it would be hard to see it, two dull red orbs fill the space where its eyes should be. Two red lights in the darkness, staring at me.

Rather than moving closer, it remains still. Which only means one thing.

It’s just there to watch. And that meant it wasn’t my true tormentor tonight. The thought sends a cold shiver over me.

When the shadow man didn’t try to reach for me, or drag me out of bed, it would just stand there, waiting for something else to appear. Something worse.

The hairs on my arms tingle as I press my eyes shut, trying to steady my breathing. I’m asleep. I have to act like I’m asleep. Even if I’m aware of everything. No matter what, do not let them know you are awake, the Filipino man told me. Despite having only spoken to him online, I picture his voice as an old, wise mentor, like from a Kung Fu film. 

Concentrating on my breathing, I focus on the vanilla scent of the candles and the ticking clock. My links to the real world.

Something presses down on my bed, near my feet. Then another pressure point shifts the mattress, tilting my legs a little. At first it reminds me of a small animal walking over my bed, like when I used to stay around my cousin’s house and their cat would come into my room in the mornings and walk on my bed. But I know this isn’t a cat…