Suzaku X Lelouch (Start Anew)

Was I a bad person?

"Hey, was the previous me a bad person?"

I had returned from work that day pretty late.

I was pretty tired but I still was willing to play chess with Lelouch as I had promised.

But the invitation didn't come. Instead this question came my way.

"Why so you ask that Lelouch?"

"Because.... sometimes.... when Suzaku-oniisan looks at me..... I see hatred in his eyes..."

"Eh....?"

Was I really glaring at Lelouch? This Lelouch?

What for!? Well yeah he did kill Euphy but.... I have taken my revenge for that.... and... if I wanted him dead I would just have left him die that day two years ago....!

"Did I do something bad to you in the past?"

"...."

I kept quiet. Lying would be the best course of action here but I felt like I couldn't lie to Lelouch anymore....

"Please tell me! I want to properly apologize for that and if possible do something about it! Please tell me!"

I didn't know what to say...

Without realizing, tears had started streaming down my eyes.

Lelouch was looking at me with signs of guilt and pity.

"S...sorry.... I didn't mean to cry...."

"I did something bad right!? What is it!? Please tell me! I need to know!!"

".....Lelouch...."

Why am I crying!? It's been 3 years since Euphy's death. If I still hated Lelouch I would have left him die....

But in truth.... I am sure.... I still....

"Is it something that can't be forgiven? That's why you don't tell me?"

I don't want to make him pity me... nor do I want him to feel guilty... yet why do I cry?

"Lelouch.... if I tell you.... will you promise something?"

"Yeah! I will promise you whatever so please tell me! I have to know!"

"....promise me nothing will change. Promise me you will still talk with me and pass time with me like you did so far!"

"Eh? Is that okay? Aren't I the one who did bad things to you!?"

"Yeah... that's true...but I still want you by my side so promise me."

Lelouch seemed to hesitate but eventually nodded.

"I got it. I promise. Things won't change. So tell me."

"....The you who had memories, you see.... he took away an important thing from me...."

"An important thing?"

"Yeah.... he....he...."

"Suzaku-oniisan. It's not 'he' it's 'me'. It's me that did that. You know that better than anyone right?"

I know but.... I don't want you to feel guilty.... feel guilty after you regain your memories!

"...you.....killed a person important to me.... a person I treasured a lot.... you killed her...."

"Eh.....?"

Lelouch's face gasped in shock....

Ah that's right... not only am I telling him I loved that person but I am also telling him, he is a murderer.....

How cruel can I be....?

Lelouch started tearing up....

"It's okay Lelouch! You had your reasons back then! I.... I am no longer angry at you!"

".....sorry...."

"?"

"I know a sorry isn't enough but really I don't know why I did that but.... Sorry!! I must have made you sad! I am sorry....."

Having Lelouch apologising to me so sincerely is kinda sad.....

Now I feel guilty.... It was too soon to tell him this....

"Lelouch.... I am the one who should be sorry. It was too soon to tell you."

".....how can you stay so calm!?"

"It's been a long time since then... we have even worked together in that time. It's okay already...."

"....Can you leave me alone for a little? I promise nothing will change.... so just leave me some time to think about it...."

"Yeah.I got it. But please don't do anything stupid."

"Yeah...."

"Well I will go sleep to my previous room then, okay?"

"Yeah...."

"Good night!"

"Good night...."

And like that I made my way to my room.

I couldn't sleep at all though....

I was thinking of Lelouch the whole night....

I didn't say it.... I never said I forgive you......

Have I really not forgiven him?

I don't know.......

To be continued....
_________________________
Yahoo! What's up? I have no idea what's happening in the story as always xD
Anyway it became too long xD
Maybe because I had writers block the last to days inspiration hit today or something xD
Anyway I will be sure to post an extra chapter with the drawings I did during suzalulu week but right now I don't have that kind of time sorry.
And...I have settled down with organizing my time. So I have enough free time to update the stories I think. (Next month I won't have inktober either xD)

Anyway see ya next month~