The Unholy Bible

Grocery Shopping- the Reekquel

"WRONG DESTINATION!"

----------------------------------------------------

56 MILES FROM THE NORTH POLE.

INSIDE A HOLLOWED-OUT CLIFF, A CASINO LIES.

WITHIN RESIDE THE GREAT FORCES OF EVIL, LEAD BY THE NEW DEMON LORD, TRICK GRAELL.

ONE UNFORTUNATE BOY DISCOVERED THE CASINO BY ACCIDENT, AND NOW LIVES THERE.

THIS IS HIS STORY.

--------------------------------------------------------

This time, I was sitting on the roof of the building with Lucifer, as a blizzard was raging outside. Worried for my safety, Lucifer had not let me go out the back door and climb up the side of the cliff. He insisted that we stay inside.

After feeling a jet of air stream in from outside, I was thankful for his intervention.
At this time and place Lucifer and I were just sitting there and enjoying each other's company, watching the snow rush along above us like a white dragon. The feeling of just sitting there with him, not needing to say anything, was perfect.

No words are needed.
Suddenly, something slipped through the whirling snow wave and fell through the hole in the cliff. Lucifer gasped in alarm as the thing fell and kept falling.
Then, the thing used its black feathered wings to fly itself towards us. I screamed and backed up by about 5 feet and Lucifer stood up, ready to fight. As it got closer, we could see it was a caramel-haired girl with black feathered wings. It was Rylee the Messenger, with a bag of mail. Lucifer relaxed and waved as the girl landed on the roof.
"I hate being the one to deliver these," Rylee sighed, "but nobody else from the Treehouse can even get into the Casino when Trick Graell-senpai hasn't formally invited them, let alone locate it. You have to either have demon blood or a formal invitation to get in if you're already dead. It's a really powerful spell, it can even keep God out."
Wow.
"Hey, it's great to see you again," Lucifer said, relaxed. "I normally don't give shelter to you holy spirits but Trick doesn't give a shit whether you go in or out, so you must be a good friend of theirs. What shit did God send us?"
Rylee thumbed through the letters. "Bills, an official notice summoning Trick to the Council to be tried for all of their sins (she send this every week, and I'm not surprised that Trick-senpai ignored it), the obligatory troll letters, and... Oh! A message for Yeezus?"
I jumped in surprise. Why the hell would God be sending me shit?
"Two, actually. One from God and one from Hawky. Have anything you want to send?"
Lucifer sighed and held out a plastic bag that he must have pulled from the void. "Trick usually can just teleport shit into the Treehouse, but they asked me to give this to you when you stopped by."
Rylee winced. "I know they can send stuff. Three pipe bombs and a herd of goats, right?" After looking in the bag, they sighed. "How many letters is that?"
"666."
"Why?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tore open my letters and looked them over. I looked over Hawky's first, and smiled.

Hey, Yeez!
Just came back to apologize for the mishap the other day.

Yours,
HAWKY

Dreadfully, I tore open the letter from God. The envelope was blood-red. I pulled out a black piece of paper with words written on it in gold ink.
Boy.
I have something for you to deliver to Satan. It's not a bomb. It's something valuable and important, and I think they might want it.
Below there was two splotches of paint. One was green and the other was red. I assumed that if I touched them it would choose accordingly.
Below was a blank area, and a messy gold signature which read "GOD".