✓ | First Love ↠ Clato

Chapter 13

(Clove's POV)

Today is the day. No more mercy. I must show that I am fierce. This is the last time that I will see the outside world the same way ever again. Zoe escorts me to my podium. I think she can see my hands are shaking, because she holds my hand tightly. I am truly grateful of this.

"60 seconds till launch" the voice says.

"Clove, don't let them make you something you're not." Zoe says. "It's the least you can do. To not become a possessive monster."

"I won't. I promise." I say. We share one last hug. Then I step into the tube. And the podium rises. When my eyes adjust to the sunlight, I can see all the tributes and the Cornucopia. I am in-between Thresh and the girl from 4. Next to her is Cato. He takes a quick glance at me and then focuses his eyes on the Cornucopia. I do the same. I've got my eyes on a red backpack filled with knives.

"5...4...3...2...1..." the horn sounds and the peace turns into chaos. Already I can see a dead tribute. I grab the pack and pull put a knife. I throw it at the first person I see, which is Katniss. She deflects it with the orange pack she has retrieved. My next mission is to find Cato. I find him in the Cornucopia with Glimmer and Marvel. I join them, as does the girl from 4. Glimmer suggests that we get Katniss, because she pulled out a 12 in training. They all agree, and so do I. As we set off into the forest, we spot Peeta. Just as Glimmer raises her bow and arrow, Marvel stops her. He says that maybe he can help them find Katniss. So Peeta is now a recruit of the careers. I'm almost relieved because he seems as shaken as I am. Only he's not afraid to show it. I can't, because I'm a career. I have to be fierce, bloodthirsty. But that's just not me.

4 days later, we find that the girl from 8 has started a fire. I am sent off to kill her. So far in the games, I've killed 5 tributes. I know, right? I had no idea what I was capable of. I find her and throw a knife at her spleen. Her cannon sounds seconds later. Just then, a million memories flash through my mind and I stumble back, so startled that I'm starting to feel nauseous. The flashbacks were of my brother in the games. He only killed 2 people. I have killed 3 times that. I've become a monster.

A day later, we find Katniss in a tree. I can see the pain in Peeta's eyes as they approached tree. I give him a reassuring pat on the back. And then I join in the chanting that Glimmer has started. Why am I even mimicking Glimmer, anyway? Katniss doesn't give in though. Which is good, because I'm exhausted. So far in the games, I've killed 6 tributes. I know, right? I had no idea what I was capable of. But that last death...what even happened to me there? I decide to sleep on it. Right after I practise throwing knives at a lizard on the ground.

In my mind, I pretend it is Glimmer, squealing in pain.