Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

60. Realities (re-edit)

I wont choose another female because Nova would feel it and thats not what i want anyways. She has yet to be with another male.. i will show her the same respect. Im afraid she will eventually do it though. So afraid.

I dont want to feel that.

Im afraid of what ill do.. how crazy i will go.

With a sigh, i stepped away from the mirror, turning on my heel and headed to the ensuite to start up the shower.. my ritual to beginning my day.. with my own hand.

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Once clean and fully dressed in dark denim and a longsleeved black thermal with black motorcycle boots, i made my way down to the dining hall for breakfast with the pack.

It was my duty to eat with them as a unit.. unlike my father used to do.

Although my wolf has been rabid in the past months.. my skin side catching up to him.. dominating him.. the agressiveness in me still at its peak.. i began to see that leading a pack of wolves was the way to calm me down slightly.. That my mind didnt have to be on my mate 24/7. Keeping these wolves in order was becoming a sort of distraction for my beastly side.

Gabriel works with me everyday still.. teaching me how to control the feral side i feel in my body.. how to control the need to snap the neck of any wolf who even looks at me sideways.

Im respected and feared now.

"Good morning Alpha." A female brushed past me, a lingering smile on her rose colored lips as eyes danced my way. I let a low warning growl tumble out of my chest with the narrowing of my eyes.. sending her scurrying off with shock written on her face as i came to the head of the main table.. taking my seat as the wooden legs scraped across the floor.

All eyes were on me and i had to control my beast from growling.. i didnt like being stared at.. it made me feel on edge. My eyes caught every wolf that dared to look my way, their gaze shifting downard in submission.  The wooden chair beneath me groaned amd creaked with the weight of muscle i had packed on.. bulked with hormones surging through me.

To my left, sat Jack.. still my Beta. I offered for him to continue his position until he felt the need to retire. He gladly accepted.. relieved not to have to work beside my father any longer.. i would have to get a new Beta in a few years though.

And to my right.. where my Luna would normally sit.. where Nova should be, sat Alpha Maxim. A visiting Alpha always gets the vacant head position as a guest.

I wonder what Nova would think, knowing shes a Luna now...

"Morning Alpha" Jacks gruff greeting as i picked a plate up, piling it high with sausage links, bacon, and eggs over medium.

I glanced, noticing he was in his usual stoic mood this morning. Has always been that way.

"Morning Beta Jack. Morning Alpha Maxim." I cut my eyes to the Alpha who was currently munching on a piece of bacon.. devious crystaline eyes glancing down the table, locked onto Eden who sat near the end as he smiled devilishly at her.. she rolled her eyes, but a playful smile graced her lips as she continued to fill her belly with food for the future growing within. A little Alpha.

"Morning Alpha X." He replied, not looking my way.

My face contorted into confusion. "Alpha X?"