Or Is It Real?

Chapter 31: Or Is It Real?

She makes it up to me each time, that is, if we weren't busy fighting because of our jealousy and possessiveness. I know Lauren is hurting just as I was. But sometimes, I don't feel it. She's too convincingly chill all about it that I feel like I was the only one not liking the situation we were forced into.

Tonight, it was too much for me. Seeing her act all happy and lovesick with Noah-Fence-But-You-Look-Like-A-Hairy-Dick-Bernardsprout was the last straw. I needed space. I needed someone who would listen to me who I know wouldn't take Lauren's side or even consider it (as what the other girls do) because he's not friends with her.

So I called the first name that came to my mind.

When I unlocked my phone, I saw a couple of texts from Lauren but I ignored them. Going through my contacts, I found the name I was looking for and dialed the number.

"Hey, Austin. You busy?"

We agreed to meet in a high-end club, and while I usually don't like partying and such, I figured we will be less noticed in a club than a restaurant. And since we were both celebrities, and Austin knew the owner of the club, we easily got in and went straight upstairs were it was more secluded.

I just wanted to unwind. And Austin has been a good listener so far. We drank some more, as I unloaded my thoughts to him without mentioning Lauren or specifically saying I had relationship problems, just general stuff about feeling small, suffocated, and manipulated by this industry.

I was so drunk that I could barely pay attention to my surroundings, but despite my intoxication, the image of Lauren's face has never left my mind. My heart hurts seeing her constantly in my mind, whether I close my eyes or open them. Sometimes I even mistake people as her and then find myself running after strangers before realizing it's not even Lauren.

I'm pathetic, yeah, tell me something I don't know.

How long we've been there talking, I'm not even sure anymore, but I felt infinitely lighter, although if it was because of the alcohol or because I have unloaded my stress to Austin, I don't know.

There are other people around us, dancing or getting drunk, but I didn't pay attention to them. All I wanted was to forget.

At some point I snapped my head so fast because I thought I saw Lauren, but then realized it was just some girl with dark hair and pale skin, and my sudden movement made me sway and almost fall over the couch. Next thing I know, Austin's arms were around my waist, keeping me upright, and when I turned, I found his Dorito-shaped face basically inches away from mine, and I gulped when I saw his eyes looking at me kinda weirdly.

Since I was plastered as fuck, my reflexes, which weren't even that sharp at my most sober state, were basically kaput. I saw him leaning in and before I realized what he wanted to do, I felt wet lips on mine. I closed my eyes, not because I was consenting to the kiss, but mainly because I felt nauseous, but he started softly moving his lips despite me ineffectively pushing him away with my limp arms.

But something happened. When I closed my eyes, the face of Lauren permeated my thoughts, and all the longing and pain and frustrations I have endured these past months overwhelmed me. How nice it would feel if I could kiss her anytime I wanted, or anywhere without considering what people would think? Why is it that Austin could kiss me so freely, while the only person I wanted on my lips could deny me faster than Trump denying he's a racist?

Drowning in my own thoughts, I didn't even realize that Austin was still kissing me, and what's worse, was I apparently have kissed him back, and now, his tongue was inside my mouth, exploring it like a damn dog looking for his bone. Sloppy and rough.