Christmas Heartache (Celebration Series 1)

Chapter One- At a Distance

I stood still at the upstairs window admiring the suit clad figure walking across the quad in the distance. Dave was completely unaware of the fantasies I had about him, just as well. The way he filled his suit pants and jackets seemed to me to be male perfection. Coming to work over past 6 months had been the only bright spot for me, and catching sight if Dave at any point in the day was a highlight.

It always amused me that he would never know how my heart skipped a beat and how there was a flip low down in my stomach whenever I caught sight of him around the school, much less talked to him.

I loved teaching and interacting with the students here and seeing their confidence in writing grow was always a buzz. This year my part time hours had been taken booked up with senior students which was demanding but had a load of rewards.

"Ms Williams, is that reading better now? I moved the paragraph on the reasons why and opened with who Nelson Mandela was in the hearts of the people. "

Tearing my eyes from the windows I smiled at Rosie. She was an able year 13 student, in her final year who had suggested we write our next essay on the life and times of Nelson Mandela as a kind of obituary on the impact he had on the world. His death announcement last week had impacted round the globe.

One Man, one voice that found an echo in every community, across race and generations, to the heart of what it is to value all humanity as equal.

I glanced down at her laptop and agreed with her. Then reminding the class that their pieces were due in three days I dismissed them. I found myself daydreaming as I starting to bring order to my desk and class. Collecting papers automatically, stacking remaining chairs I let my mind slip away. Coping like this when the pain of reality had become the norm, but my active imagination had to be good for something. I imagined he was. ...

closing the space between us, he had backed me against the wall. There was a hungry and determination in his eyes. Looking lustfully up and down my body, his hands started to follow. Leaning his body against mine. He came closer and closer, I couldn't believe this was happening. I could feel him aroused against me, the heat of our bodies.

I closed my eyes and went to lick my dry lips. Before I could I felt my tongue drawn slowly into his mouth. What! He was doing that..?..but it felt sexy and intimate.

Wasn't that the truth. As usual I was left feeling hot at the thought of Dave even turning his eyes on me in that way, let alone following through.

I pulled my satchel onto my shoulder. It would be beyond words that anyone would ever feel that way about me again, if they ever had.

Bearing children was not easy on the body. I had worked out and enjoyed good fitness. But I was completely in the real world now and what my life was came crashing in.

Christmas was only two months away. My twelve year old son Tom and fourteen year old daughter Jessie had been amazingly mature when I told them we had to limit Christmas. I was working as hard as I could to pay the bills and hadn't as yet had to go to family for help.

Cam. I sighed. The children knew our relationship had been flawed. But fortunately for them nobody knew how unappreciated as a woman I had felt. He hadn't kissed me for years, although I made light of it, it affected me Although we had sex, and could bring each other to orgasm there was no attraction experienced or shown outside of the bedroom.

I locked the classroom door and headed for the stairs. This was a beautiful school. I felt so privileged to have my children here, small classes, great subject choices and teachers, and beautiful new library and study centre. My class was up stairs off the new study area, I enjoyed helping various students and greeting them as I walked across the mezzanine.

I had finished my hours for the day and planned to swing by the supermarket to get some basics on the way home. Then I would try to weave some tasty magic on it for tea tonight. The children would catch the school bus home later.

I sighed. I would never regret the place I was in life. I loved my kids and so admired them as people. They had encouraged me and kept me going when all the fuss of the funeral and accident investigators had left us in peace. Cam and I had been friends, can't deny it, argued? oh yes... daily living for us had become a battle ground. Did we find each other attractive, sexy? I am sure I had felt that way about him at sometime. But the months of reflection and going backover years of memories left me wondering things about Cam that I would never voice, couldn't. It seemed disloyal. Maybe I did need counselling.

Digging in the bottom of my satchel for my keys, I sat it on top of the car bonnet At least the latest service and repairs made it road worthy for a bit longer. But the break down last month had been a cruel blow to an already stretched budget.

"Ah Ms Williams. Susie," a voice called out from across the carpark. I knew that voice, I briefly closed my eyes and felt the familiar curl in my stomach. It wasn't until I went to turn around that I realised that my toes had literally curled inside my knee high boots.

I plastered a smile on and turned to acknowledge him. Dave was walking towards me across the parking area. Because I was leaving a whole class before the lunch bell, this back area of the school was completely deserted.

He didn't hesitate he stopped in and bought his lips to mine. I opened for him and he swept his tongue into my mouth like a man dying needing sustenance. He lifted me off the ground , holding my hips and lifted me onto the bonnet of the car. My skirt rode up as he parted my legs and gave contact to our bodies. I could feel his attraction for me pressed where I so so wanted. ..

"Ms Williams?" Dave had come all the way across the carpark and now stood directly in front of my car and was waiting for my answer. I shook the fantasy from my head, as I came slamming back to reality. My embarrassment must have shown as Dave glanced away with good grace and allowed me a moment. I begged myself but to think of how good he might be in bed for at least the duration of the conversation.

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thoughts....?

Should I continue. .?

Susie has been so hurt and disappointed in relationships. Now she is wondering if she will every know attraction and chemistry again..?

Your thoughts? ? comments. ..????

votes...????

Thanks as always for reading.