Lies

Delivered

It wasn't long after that I found a job as a waitress at the local bar. I didn't make nearly enough money, but it was enough for me to buy baby stuff, pay the rent and put food on the table.

Since I left L.A, I haven't spoken to anyone. Sometimes I see the boys on TV doing a live show, but I can't stand to see Duff's face.

It's not that I'm mad at him. I'm not mad. I understand why he did what he did. But the amount of sadness I see on his face when his eyes connect with the camera sends a shock right through my heart.

He was struggling without me just as much as I was struggling without him.

When I realized I was going into labor, Axl was the first person I called.

Sure, I hadn't spoken to him since I left L.A, but he wasn't the reason I left.

Axl made it very clear that if this baby was his, he wanted to be a part of his or her life. Who was I to refuse to let Axl raise his child if it was his? Just because Duff didn't want to be a father didn't mean that Axl had to suffer for it.

So when I went into labor, I called him, and he said he'd be here as fast as he could. That was almost three hours ago, and I know he should be here any time.

It was a good thing, too, because I didn't think the baby was going to wait for him much longer.

This was undoubtedly the biggest moment of my life so far, and I didn't know what to think.

If the baby was Axl's, what would he do? Would he bring us back to L.A and help me raise the baby? Would he move up here to Pismo? Would he stay on tour with the band or give it all up? Would we get married like he talked about so many times when we were together?

And if the baby was Duff's, I'd have to do what I've been planning to do all along: raise the baby by myself.

My eyes flick up to stare at the ceiling.

Part of me wanted the baby to be Axl's. I wanted my child to have a father who loved and cared about him or her. I wanted them to know what it feels like to have a dad.

The other part of me couldn't imagine being with anyone else but Duff. I still loved Duff. I still cared about him. But the fact of the matter is that he isn't ready for a baby.

He was young and immature, and his dreams consisted of music and fame. A child doesn't fit into that schema.

But

There's nothing more I could ever ask for then for him to want our child.

"Ms. Fisher? You have a visitor." the nurse says, and in steps a redhead with pin straight hair. 

Even at 4 AM, he looked perfect.

He shoots me that smile that he always does and walks over to my bedside. He pulls me in for a hug and I hug him tight.

"I'm so glad your here." I tell him.

"Me too, Ana. I thought you'd never call."

"I was never going to keep you away from your kid, Axl. If it's your kid, I want you in it's life as much as possible." I say.

"There's nothing I'd want more." He smiles.

"I'm glad you got here in time. They said I'll be ready to push any minute." I tell him.

He looks at me quizzically. "I thought giving birth was supposed to be the most painful thing in the world? You're awfully calm?"

I chuckle. "I got an epidural."