Beautiful Mistakes {Zayn M.}

Chapter 33

Our drive home from the hospital was completely silent. Other than the few sniffles from our crying we didn’t say a word. I didn’t even look in his direction. I couldn’t because if I saw him crying it would only make me break down more.

When we pulled into the driveway, I didn’t even wait for Zayn to walk up the stairs. Leaving Valentina at the hospital, six miles away, was not easy. The innocent look on her face when I left broke my heart. She barely even knew who I was. How was she supposed to learn my touch or my scent if she was stuck in a box? I wanted, more than anything, to have been able to hold her for just a minute, but they said we couldn’t until she was at least eating and breathing on her own.

Zayn unlocked the door, and let me walk inside first. The house was completely dark. It almost seemed as if we weren’t even welcome in our own home. Like it wasn’t going to welcome us because we were missing a person.

When the entryway light was turned on, I could finally see where the stairs were. I walked over to them and slowly stomped my way up.

“Rose.” Zayn called after me. He probably wanted to talk to me, or hug me, or do something to make me feel better, but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to be touched. This was devastating enough. Having someone telling me everything was going to be okay would only make me more upset. I didn’t want to be reminded of everything. I wanted to forget long enough for me to go to sleep, so I could wake up in the morning and go back to my daughter's side.

When I got to the top of the stairs, I walked down the hall at a faster pace. I stopped right before I got to Valentina’s door. I only managed to glance at it for a second before putting my head down and, as fast as I could without being in pain, rushed past it into my own room. I headed straight for the bed. I didn’t want to do anything other than get some rest. This day had drained me.

As I laid in bed alone, all I could think about was Valentina. The image of her laying there helpless replayed in my mind. It was then that I decided I didn’t want to be left alone. I wanted Zayn to wrap his arms around me while I cried. I wanted him to wipe away the tears and then kiss my cheeks where they were still wet. He needed to be by my side, and he wasn’t. I didn’t know why it had taken him so long to come upstairs.

I couldn’t be all alone right now, so I got up, walked out of the room, and went back downstairs to find him. The light in the kitchen was on. I made my way down the hall, and when I reached the light source I saw Zayn laying on the couch. He saw me standing there, and motioned me to come over to him. He sat up, and wrapped an arm around my waist as I slowly cuddled into his side. I was still in a lot of pain from my surgery, and moving around wasn’t the easiest thing in the world.

“How are you feeling?” Zayn asked me. His lips brushed against my hear. It was nice to feel his hot breath against my skin. It made me feel, in a way, more alive.

I situated myself so my head was resting on Zayn’s lap and I was looking up at him. He gently placed a hand on top of my slowly shrinking, and now empty stomach. The look on his face when he couldn’t feel Valentina softly bumping the area where his hand rested was disappointment. I knew he wanted to feel her just as much as I did.

“I’m okay.” I replied to him. “How about you?”

His free hand was running through my hair. “I’m okay too.” He replied softly.

I brought one of my hands up to his face and cupped his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He gave me a small closed mouth smile.

Zayn kept looking into my eyes. For the first time since we left the hospital, I forgot about everything. I was distracted by his chocolate brown eyes and how they were only focused on me. The world around us seemed to stop in that brief moment.