somewhere only we know (joshler)

thirty two

"tyler," his mom whispered. jay had itched scars up and down his arms in nervousness, and he twisted his fingers around his pulse while he waited. "ty, baby, wake up."

tyler rolled over to face his mother, sleep still clinging to his eyelids. "hm?"

"tyler, something's happened."

tyler frowned and sat up. the rest of his family was cluttered next to the doorway, letting his mom speak and break her son's heart. "what's wrong?"

jay sat next to him, and his eyes were heavy. "tyler...."

"josh," tyler said, and his heart dropped. "josh!" and his mind was screaming because he knew, he should've seen it, he knew josh -

"he's dead, tyler, i'm sorry - "

the blankets were tangled around him, wrapped around his skeleton, tying him down, keeping him in place, he couldn't get to -

"josh!"

"tyler," madison whispered, and her voice was quiet over the sound of tyler's terror.

then tyler tore free from the blankets and everything was suddenly light and he had wings made for flying above the clouds that he and josh liked to watch. but he could only run, and he didn't know where he was going until he was in the middle of a clearing, and the clouds were staring down and the trees were dancing around him like a memory.

and there was a circle of rocks and a crown of daisies and a white envelope streaked with dirt.

tyler,

it read,

and tyler shattered into a hundred thousand pieces of nothing.

his thoughts were made up of josh, but josh was gone and tyler couldn't reach him, he was gone gone gone gone g o n e

and tyler was left with only a crown of flowers that josh would never wear.

and he was dissolving, because josh had held him still, had slowed the world down and made the forest into a dream full of flowers and laughter and dancing to songs that hadn't been written yet. and now the forest was shadows again, and there was no josh to turn the clouds into something worth saying.