tyler hated dinner. he hated sitting down, zack on his left, jay on his right, madison next to zack, his mother and father across from him. they were all watching him. he felt their eyes as if their gaze was a fire and he was coal. they wanted to see him eat, they wanted to hear his voice. tyler didn't want to speak. he didn't want to eat.
the food all tasted like sand, rough and dry on his tongue. it didn't settle in his stomach; it churned and ached and only added to the numbers on the scale. always rising, never falling. madison had taped over the numbers so he didn't have to see them. when everyone was asleep, tyler just pulled off the tape and then reapplied it and no one noticed.
"how was your day?" his mother asked.
"fine," zack said. his voice was deep. tyler hated his own voice.
"pretty good," jay said. "school was fun. we had a presentation during math, so i didn't have to take the test." his words floated over tyler, and he tried to reach up and grab them; he tried to understand and care. he really did. but it hurt when his heart beat and he couldn't spare the energy to meet his brother's eyes.
"that's good," zack snorted. "you would have failed."
"oh shut up," jay shot back. tyler wondered how they had the energy. how their heads weren't so heavy that they could look up. how they could speak like their words were rubber bullets. maybe they were just stronger than him. maybe there was something wrong with him.
his thoughts must've shown on his face because his mother asked suddenly, "are you alright, tyler?"
"of course," he mumbled, pushing his food around the plate. maybe that would make it look like he had eaten. his stomach craved something, anything. it twisted and ate at his organs, but tyler ignored it.
he took a breath. "how was your day, madison?"
and she hid her surprise well, behind lipstick and soul hiding tape and the unspoken need to hear her brother's laugh again. she smiled at him and he looked away and tuned out her answer. inhale. exhale. nothing to it.
YOU ARE READING
somewhere only we know (joshler)
Fanfiction"pressure creates diamonds," tyler said, and it sounded like he was reciting a poem. "or," josh countered. "it breaks you." he snapped his fingers and tyler winced at the crack that shattered the air. "or," tyler agreed quietly, watching the clouds...
