We do this Together

Chapter 13: I'm Here

Octavia

Lately, she'd noticed that Clarke and Bellamy had been different towards each other, especially Clarke- she's been avoiding him but Octavia refuses to get into the middle of whatever they're arguing over now. She's always decided to stay out of this stuff: her best friend her brother?- definitely not a door to open.

She wonders over to Clarke's mini hospital room and she's grabbing spare jars to pile into her backpack. She knows, they need to get going but all Octavia is concerned is with Clarke and Bellamy; their stubbornness can put a huge depressing tension into the air. However, she knows all to well that it won't last, they argue too much like a ,arrived couple.

" Nearly ready?" O asks Clarke from behind, she doesn't even flinch at the surprise of Octavia in her tent.

" Yeah, just doing Monte a favor." she replies blankly

" Are you ok?" She asks worriedly, O takes a seat on the bed, knowing there's one thing wrong only by the tone of her voice,

" Yeah, why?" Clarke's now turn down to face her, but doesn't meet her eyes instead giving her a fake smile, Octavia knows all too well.

" Good." Octavia sits herself on the patronizing cold table, making it obvious they're gonna talk about what's bothering Clarke.

" Why are you here?" Clarke asks miserably, completely losing her fake, happy tone,
"What does Bellamy want?"

" I came here to ask about you." She replies

" What?" Clarke answers

" Why do you do that?" Octavia also replies with a question, but Clarke looks confused at it.

" Do what?"

" Pretend. Pretend, everything's alright, I've seen you so don't try and hide it." Octavia confronts Clarke head on, but somewhat feeling nauseous of the answer.

" You ridiculous O." Clarke dismisses her previous remark

"Who do you think your dealing with, Murphy?Spill. Now." She pushes her and she won't stop until she gets what she wants.

" JUST STOP." Clarke's suddenly shouting at her; she's startled at first.

" You know I won't stop." Octavia says calmly so Clarke gives in and sits on a chair opposite her, fiddling with her hands.

" You have to promise to not get mad.." Clarke warns; what would she have to be mad about?

" Okay?" Octavia replies quickly

" After Bellamy left, things seemed to pile up: like everything. I never really realized how much he does- well I did- I just- didn't think I'd have to do it without him. Anyways, all of a sudden I became everything at once: the doctor, the leader, the people that needed problems solved, the person who organized hunting...I was becoming sick of it. My sleeping was a mess, so was my eating- I don't even think I ate...and then, we heard the explosion, and everyone presumed Bellamy was dead," For a second, O swore she saw a tear in Clarke's eye but as fast as it came, it had gone," It's like- you know that feeling you get in your gut, when something terrible happens. And I'm not talking about breaking a leg or getting an arm amputated- it's worse than that because medicine can't fix it. It's worse than a broken heart because at least that can be fixed. It's almost like someone has reached down into your soul and is slowly pulling it apart, piece by piece. I got that feeling that day, unless you've had it you don't know what it's like but, I can't really describe it. When I thought Bellamy was dead, it pushed me over the edge."