Ten Things I Hate About You {Regulus Black}

xxi : guilt

Olivia wished she hadn't woken up that morning. The sky was dark and stormy, low rumbles of thunder could be heard in the distance. It was snowing heavily, and the rough wind made the snow blow everywhere. It was -7 degrees Celsius, one of the coldest days this year. Due to the horrible weather, they had to move the funeral inside of the house instead of in the garden.

The funeral was at 10 o'clock, and it was already 9:30. Olivia had just gotten dressed in a modest long sleeved black dress that went down to her ankles. Her hair was curly and natural, flowing over her shoulders. Olivia looked in the mirror and sighed. She wasn't ready for this. She couldn't do this.

Just then, her mothers voice rang throughout the house. "Olivia, come down here please. People will be arriving soon."

The amount of people in her house was overwhelming. Olivia didn't know that her father knew so many people.

People that went to school with her parents were there, devastated that someone they knew when they were young had died the way he did. His coworkers were also there, and people he worked for.

Many purebloods were there too. The Greengrass family, Lucius Malfoy was there with his fiance, Narcissa Black. Kians family was there, but Kian was away in Wales. The Black family was there too.

She could see Orion and Walburga Black standing in the middle of the room talking to her mother, they seemed to be in deep conversation. Olivia was too nervous to even look at the Blacks for too long, they gave her a bad feeling.

Perhaps it was the fact that almost their entire family was inbred. Other perhaps it was the fact that they disowned their son for being a decent human being. Or perhaps it was because their other son was the one person whom always somehow managed to get on Olivias nerves. Whatever it was, she didn't like them. Instead, she tried to walked the opposite way to avoid them.

"Olivia! Come here, please, darling." her mothers voice beckoned from behind her. Olivia cursed under her breath. She turned on her heels and walk over to her mother, feeling very small. Her mother put her hands on her shoulders, smiling. "This is my youngest daughter, Olivia."

Walburga looked her up and down, obviously judging her. Olivias palms became sweaty and itchy as Mrs. Black looked at her with a such a stare. After what felt like years of awkward silence, she began to speak. "Olivia, it is so nice to finally meet. I've heard so much about you. "

Olivia forced a small chuckle, and her cheeks began to hurt from forcing her smile. "Oh. It's lovely to meet you too."

"I'm sorry to hear about your father, we were good friends in school". Orion said, shaking her hand softly.

"Do you know our son Regulus? He is in your year, if I'm not mistaken." Walburga said with a straight face.

Olivia clenched her teeth at the name. "Yes, I've met him before."

Olivias mother must have walked away while she was talking to the Blacks, because she was now standing by the ball room door. "Excuse me everyone". Her mother announced. "Gabriels funeral is about to begin."

•••

The funeral was a blur for the most part. As rude as it sounds, Olivia hadn't paid attention to barely anything in the last hour. Her fathers sisters was first to speak, then his childhood governess. Then his school friends came up to speak along with his friends from work.

After was Olivia's mothers speech, which went on for about half an hour. Next was Natalia's, and then Erica. Once she was done, the man running the funeral stood up from his seat. "And lastly, a few words from Gabriel's youngest daughter, Olivia Rosemary".

Olivia stood up from her front row seat, her legs weak. She slowly walked up to the podium, her speech script in her hand. Olivia stared out at the people that were sitting in front of her, some crying while others held pained expression. Olivia sighed, shaking her head before she decided to start speaking.

"I'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason, but this had no reason to happen. My father was a good man, he did anything to protect his family. He didn't deserve to die! He was too good.There was no good reason for him to die, especially so mercilessly. This is the reality of what is happening in our world, right here, right now! And it's wrong! But you all stand by and watch it happen. You even support it! How dare you, you don't deserve to mourn him. Every single one of you makes me sick to my stomach".

Is what Olivia wished she could've said.

Instead, she simply looked down at her piece of parchment, and read. "My father was one of a kind. The light of my life. I will miss him with all my heart, as I know all of you will miss him for years to come."

It was a couple of hours after the funeral. Most people had gone home, except for a few. Olivia paced her locked bedroom, eyes red and puffy. Why didn't she say that? She thought.

Olivia felt guilty. She felt by not saying anything, she had allowed her father to be murdered. Not that saying anything could bring him back, but maybe it would sway others away from the Dark Lord. She felt guilty because by not saying anything, she felt like she supported the Dark Arts.

Olivia began to cry. She cried and cried, and then she stopped until she cried some more. She cried until no more tears could come out.

She knew she had to leave. She wanted to leave. She felt like she couldn't be around these people anymore. She wanted to pack her stuff away and leave her home for good. But she didn't. In the end, Olivia did nothing. Which only made her feel more guilty.