Through The Dark {Niall Horan}

Ch. 8 - Denial

-Kayla's POV-

He doesn't answer me though. I look down and I happen to see his knuckles. They had scratches all over them.

"What happened?" I reach for his hand, but he pulls away.

"Um nothing." He says quickly.

"Please tell me Niall," I stand infront of him, closer now. "I won't judge you. What is it?" I show simpathy in my eyes.

"I-I can't." He looks down.

I put my hand on his shoulder. And lift his chin up, making eye contact with his eyes. "You can trust me."

He stares at me for awhile, switching between looking at my right eye and my left eye a couple of times. "Okay, but please, you can't say a word to anyone!"

"Okay, okay , I promise Niall."

"Alright um..."

"It's okay." I take his hand with both of mine. He take a deep breath and tries to talk, but I can hear his voice choking. Like he's trying not to cry.

"I-I-I," He stutters. How bad can it possibly be?

"I throw up my food ok?" He says quietly, but fast. My cover my mouth with my hand, then remove it.

"Oh god... Niall..." I whisper. His head is low, ashamed. I pull him in and hug him tightly. "It's okay Niall, we'll get through this."

"I only do it if I eat, otherwise I just try not to eat at all."

"Oh baby.... why?"

"I'm ugly and fat. Waste of space."

"What?! No you're not!!"

"I know it's the truth so whatever." He walks away from me, and goes to his dresser. I turn to face his direction.

 "It's not Ni..." I trail off. He scoffs in response. I sigh. "I have to say though, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"How can I not be?! This eating disorder could kill you!"

"I-I don't have one!!" He denies.

"Niall, you don't have to deny-"

"No, just stop. You said you wouldn't judge me!"

"I'm not! I'm just saying you need hel-"

"I DON'T NEED HELP! I'M FINE OK! JUST GO KAYLA!"

"Niall, please just lis-" He cut me off once again.

"Please, just go." I can see the tears threating to spill from his crystal blue eyes.

"Okay Niall, I'll go..." I say and start walking to the door.

"Wait," He says. I stop and turn to face him from across the room. "You won't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course not Niall..." I say with no emotion. He gives me a thank you sort of look. I give him a goodbye look and walk out of his bedroom. I get downstairs and say goodbye to Harry and leave.

 ----

-Niall's POV-

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Only one person knows now. But that's one too many. No one else can fucking find out. Well she shouldn't have been in my room without permission, even if she needed to talk to me!

Damn it. I sigh and go and change into some blue basketball shorts and a black tee shirt. I head downstairs to see what everyone's up to. I see Harry alone in the living room watching the telly.

"Hey Haz," I put on a smile.

"Hey Ni." He smiles at me.

"Where are the boys?"

"Oh, in their rooms." He tells me. "What to watch some telly with me?"

"Sure. What are ya watchin?"

"The Big Bang Theory."

"Awesome. Love that show!"

"It's hilarious." Harry lightly laughs, his deep husky voice is more strong.

"So what did you and Kayla talk about?" Harry nudged me and smirked.

"Um..."

"It's fine, I get it. Privacy." He says understandingly.

"Yeah, thanks."

Sitting on the couch with Harry as we watch the show. I try to pay attention to it, but it seems all i can think about is what just happened upstairs with Kayla.

----

*Later that night*

"Aww, come on Nialler! You love the club!" Zayn nags me.

"Yeah, it'll be fun mate," Liam includes.

"M'sorry guys, I'm just not feeling up to it, you guys go, have fun. I'll just tidy up the place a bit for you guys."

"Aww, you don't have to Ni." Louis says.

"It's fine, really." I smile.

"Well If you say so," Harry says. "We'll see you later Ni." They all say goodbye and I say goodbye back.

They leave and the house is now empty.

About 20 minutes later I grab my jacket and keys and  through a grey beanie on and head to the grocery store and buy whatever I can. I make sure to have dark glasses on as well, so know one will recognize me.

I get there and stock up on all my favorites, hurry as much as I can, and pay for it, and leave.

I make it home as quick as possible and the urge is over powering me, and I can't get into the house fast enough with the 2 bags of groceries in my arms.

I get inside, lock the door, and scurry into the kitchen. I unpack everything, and put what I'm not having into the cabnits and fridge/freezer.

I take the rest and start ripping open anything I could get my hands on and stuffing it in my mouth. I was so hungry, it was unbelievable.

My stomach was a bottomless pit because no matter how much I binged, I was still hungry. I chew fast and can't get enough. Almost choking in the process.

As I chew one of the last food items, I notice all the wrappers and empty packages, and how much I just had consumed. How many calories I just put into my hidious body.

I stop chewing and collapse on the floor, crying, sobbing, weaping. So disgusted with myself. I can't believe I let food control me. I let my urges get the best of me, and for that, I'm a failure.

I find the strength to pull to my feet, and run towards the nearest bathroom. I couldn't make it to mine considering I didn't want this food in me for one more second.

I got to the bathroom, and since nobody was home I didn't even bother locking the door or to turn on the faucet.

I got on my knee's and hunched over the toliet. I too two fingers and jabbed the back of my throat, triggering my gag reflex. I soon enough puked my guts out. I didn't stop until I was empty once again.

I flushed the toliet and cleaned up whatever mess I had made in the bathroom and in the kitchen.

I feel gulity, ashamed, and I should.

Because I am nothing, but an complete and utter failure.

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~Author's Note~

My 18th birthday yesterday wasn't the greatest. I didn't do anything... but at least I'm 18 now! Anyways, hope you liked this chapter! xx

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