Finding Kate

Chapter Eight: Reminiscing

The open wound she hides
She just keeps it bundled up
And never lets it show
She can't take much more of this
But she can't let it go
And that's ok...

She don't want the world place to hide
And that's ok...

And all the things she says
He's just lying there without someone to hear her cry
She slips off into a dream about a

She don't want the world

Three Doors Down – She Don't Want The World

For the first time in what seemed like the longest and most frustrating month of my life, the lab was quiet and blissfully empty. Besides the fact Tim and I were barely on speaking terms at the current moment, the fact I knew he was going out of his way to avoid me by walking out of a room every time I entered, was beyond irritating. Adding to this our case load had been anything but easy as of late, a sniper had terrorized the mid town area, throwing the whole of Miami into chaos, The professor who had tormented his students with extreme evils until one of them snapped, and of course how I could I miss the congresswoman's husband trying to get off his own murder charge by staging a copy cat killing.

I raked my hands through my hair, the fact I'd survived this month was nothing short of a miracle, possibly aided by the fact Megan had handed in her resignation in the middle of a case, where she was so direly needed. Apparently the job reminded her of her dead husband too much, more likely every time she looked at Tim she saw another mistake that she had made...

My, oh my, I was bitter today.

I checked my watch before rubbing my face. I needed coffee. I rose to my feet and wrapped my arms around myself as I wandered in the general direction of the break room, lost in my own thoughts.

Truth be told, as hard as I was trying to pretend that Speedle wasn't getting under my skin, he was and I was responding to it badly. I'd spent the first few weeks trying to hate him, trying to conjure up enough anger and rage to keep me from even looking at him. Yet that had failed...

How could I hate him after what I did to him?

I couldn't was the simple answer, because when it came down to it, I deserved whatever punishment he was going to throw at me. There was no way of changing that. It was pretty clear that Tim wanted nothing from me and that stung like a bitch, especially when I remembered that a long time ago he'd wanted everything I could offer and I'd thrown it back in his face.

The worst part of it was, the moment I'd taken that ring off my finger I knew I was making the worst mistake of my life.

I didn't feel like I was here at all, I felt abstract from my body, like I was just floating around; empty until the adrenaline pumped when I needed to respond. As it ebbed from my body I was stuck here again, not quiet living and not actually dead.

Someone was calling my name out, snapping me from my thoughts. I shook my head to clear it before gazing up into the concerned face of Eric Delko as he reached out and touched my arm gently.

"Kate, are you ok?" he asked frowning as I pushed the hair out of my eyes with one hand.

I blinked at him momentary.

"You know, I'm gonna be honest and say no." I responded openly, shaking my head.

Eric let out a small sigh, crossing his arms over his chest as he analyzed me with his hazel eyes.

"Is this about you and Speed? You can't let shit like this get to you." He told me, frowning, as I diverted my gaze down the hallway.

"I'm trying, I really am, but it just kills me to be around him and know that he hates me. I never wanted things to be this complicated. I knew coming here would be difficult, I guess I just never thought it would be this difficult. I don't know what I was thinking." I said sadly, regret was nestling deep within me along with the pain and the torment of having something I wanted so badly flaunted in front of my face.