Chapter 14: Denial

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You stood me up
You breathed me in
You locked me up
As if I was your only one
But in the end,
You gave me in

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Lou had Poetry Class in the afternoon, thus she woke up a little bit late that day. She could feel the warmth of the sunlight embracing her top of body since her white blanket was wrapped around the rest of her body. She opened her eyes and checked her phone showing 10 missed calls, 5 messages from Paul and one message from Adrien. Lou's head was very dizzy since the presence of Paul in Cambridge, she found sleeping was really hard to her last night. She still didn't have any intentions to discuss about her relationship with Paul, thus she replied Adrien's message instead.

"Stop by at the coffee shop before college. I just got promoted!"

"Awesome! Will be there in a few hours. And something happened yesterday.."

"Tell me once you get here. See ya,"

As Lou had arrived at the coffee shop, Adrien welcomed her warmly from the entrance. Lou couldn't hide her exhausting look on her face, she got two dark circles around her eyes and forced smile on her face. Adrien smiled as he wrapped his strong arms around Lou, she put her head on his chest where she could feel his heart beating constantly as if she transferred her burdens to Adrien.

"What happened to my favorite French teacher?" asked Adrien as he rubbed Lou's back gently.

Lou slowly pulled herself away from Adrien and smiled as she gave him a small rectangular box, "I got this for you. I hope you like it."

"Wow, I didn't even expect you to bring me a gift," Adrien opened it and grinned.

"Leather gloves! With a fine knitted of 'Champion' on it. Thanks, Lou. Free pepperoni bagels and coffee for today."

Lou chuckled and Adrien walked her to a table inside near the window. He pulled out a seat for her,

"I don't want to ask how you're doing today because you seem awful," Adrien took his seat across her and sat. "Please, tell me what happened."

Lou glanced at the table blankly and stared at Adrien's eyes, "I met Paul. He is in Cambridge now and he was with someone. Someone that we've been talking about, the man in white collar. It's a friend of Paul,"

Adrien's eyes and mouth widened as if he just saw a ghost, "Bloody Hell!"

Lou told everything to Adrien about yesterday and the only problem that she had right then was she had no idea how to handle Paul when she was intangibly falling in love with someone else.

"But however, are you sure that you're falling in love with Alex?" asked Adrien as he took a gulp of his coffee.

"I'm not sure if I'm falling in love but I'm feeling this emotional connection with Alex. This is something that I need to find out more," Lou squeezed her forehead with her eyes closed. "But at the same time, I need to give an answer to Paul because he wants us to get back together. What do you think I should do, Adrien?"

"If I were you, I would take a shot gun and die," Adrien nodded amusingly trying to break the ice.

Lou laughed then ended with sigh, "But Adrien, I'm serious. Any advice?"

Adrien cupped his chin with his right hand, "Let's imagine if Alex is out of the picture. Would you make up with Paul? According to what I've heard from you, Paul is not that bad. He's actually always trying to make up with you but you're just too scared to get hurt again, aren't you?"

Lou closed her eyes and sighed, "You know my weakness. Honestly, I still love Paul, I do but there's something missing if I go back to him again."

"But do you have any intentions to make a relationship with Alex? If you do, please tell me the reasons and be honest."

"Honestly, I just genuinely like him. I like being around him and I feel good whenever I'm with him."

"What if that's all just the feeling of curiosity because you have that unexplainable attraction towards him, so you're intrigued to get him. You can't tell if you love someone in a blink of an eye. You're just being curious because you simply like him,"

Lou couldn't respond to Adrien's statement because it felt like it exactly pointed to the truth. She just stared at her coffee thinking about what she should do. She seemed convinced about what Adrien said, most of them were true but Lou still couldn't release her true feelings towards Alex.

"I talked to Alex yesterday," said Lou as she gulped. "We had a quiet deep conversation. He told me about his past and I felt better when I was with him somehow. What's that mean?"

"Maybe that's what Paul asked him to do since he's a friend of Paul? Alex is just trying to cheer you up," Adrien raised his right eyebrow and shrugged. "I'm just telling you about the logical possibilities since I know that you are being coped with your emotional feeling right now."

After the intense conversation, Lou left the coffee shop at 3 and Adrien drove her to college with his big black motorcycle. Lou got out of it and gave the helmet to Adrien as she tidied up her hair by stroking it with her fingers. Adrien smiled as he put his helmet on his lap.

"Lou," Adrien sighed with his grey eyes stared at Lou. "Never let emotional feeling embrace you. You need to think with your logic. I think you should talk to Paul first, give him a chance to speak. You don't need to make a decision right in the place, he'll give you time to think if he truly loves you. And about Alex, it's up to you but however, you're still clueless about him."

"I definitely will think about that," Lou smiled. "Thank you so much, Adrien."

"Don't be afraid to listen to the truth though it hurts sometimes," answered Adrien as he smiled.

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