FIXING YOU

T W E N T Y

• Justin's POV •

We laid in bed, lookin' at each other, sayin' nothing at all but it was the kind of nothing that meant everything.

Two days ago, I sat on a rooftop, wishin' I was right here beside her 'cause I couldn't let the thought of us go. I imagined her tracin' my tattoos just like she's doing now. I thought she hated me and I could understand why 'cause I hate myself too. I think about wakin' up beside anyone else and it strikes me with this dreadful feeling. I don't wanna lose this.. I can't lose her, she can't give up on me, so I will never let her down, again.

She laced her fingers between mine and smiled softly, lookin' at me as if there were somethin' to be seen.

"I wish we could lay here forever," I whispered.

Noah propped herself up on her elbow, "are you hungry- should I order room service?" I loved the way her eyebrows raised in curiosity as she blinked.

I love how her lips pursed as I said, "I'm alright."

I know that love is a dangerous word and I shouldn't be using it so lightly but I do love everything about this girl. She's flawless, I see nothing wrong with her other than the fact that she doesn't hate my guts 'cause what I did was really wrong- the worst thing I could've done, but she can still look at me and smile? She even woke me up smothering my face in kisses.

Maybe, she doesn't see that I'm toxic- she'd have to be quite ignorant not to though.

My heart swelled up in my chest, stomach burstin' with butterflies as she climbed on top of me. "What're you thinkin' about?" She pushed the messy hair back out of me face.

I smiled, "you." Noah leaned forward and kissed me softly, "I'm always thinkin' about you- in the middle of night when I can't sleep, I see you in my dreams, then I wake up and think about you all day."

She laid her hands on my chest, her eyes narrowed, "even when-"

I knew what she was gonna say before she said it, "even then-" I sighed, "but baby.. Don't think about that." I smoothed the frizzy hairs on top her head- even lovin' thoses. "You are the only person that I wanna hold in my arms- forever."

She smiled, rollin' her eyes then said, "forever is a very, very.. long time, Justin."

"That's okay with me." I nodded, "I could spend my whole life with you."

She doesn't understand how badly I wanna be good enough for her, I've had relationships in the past but not any of those girls made me wanna change for the better- if anything, they had me pickin' up a bottle more often. I enjoy being with her. Noah laid her head on my chest. I said, "if we can get through this then- baby, I believe we can get through anything."

"What if I can't forgive you?" She asked after a few hesitant seconds, "what if I never trust you again?" Noah picked her head up and faced me, "what kind of forever would that be?" She looked at me one last time then climbed out of bed- the look on her face put a ache in my heart.