pause // dan howell x reader

Chapter 9 - Thanks

THIS CHAPTER GOES TO THE AMAZING (Phil) Purple_Brownie!!! She is super nice and I recommend you check out her Phil x Reader because it's really good! She also suggested this lovely photo of Dan, so thank you.
I know that Dan burnt his finger on a toaster in this photo, so I changed it to make it more original. Enjoy!

Dan's POV

I'm hurting her? God damn, I stuffed up. I can't believe that out of everyone, Y/N had to be the one I damaged. The one that got away. Really Dan? You can mess up your whole life, just not Y/N. I can't believe I thought that stupid 'forgive me' message might've worked.

Does this mean we aren't friends? I'm so confused. Going on a date with someone doesn't make you lose a friend, not usually at least. And if it does, it's because that friend had feelings. Feelings for the person in question. Me. No, that's not true.

I get up off the couch and take my keys. After walking down the many steps of my flat, I arrive out on the street and hail a taxi. Shit. I don't know her address. Okay, maybe she needs a shoulder to cry on.

Pft, like she'd be crying about a loser like me.

"Are you going to get in?" The taxi driver asks through his window.

"Yeah, sorry." I splutter, startled. I slide into the taxi and tell him an address. It's just a wild guess at this point. The driver pulls off the curb and heads to the destination.

-

The car arrives and I pay the driver. The lights are on, someone must be home. As I reach the door I hear a voice come from inside.

"Alfie, I've got to go." It says.

"What? Why?" Another says back.

"I need to sleep." Footsteps tap closer and closer so I run to the side of the porch to hide. I've never moved my legs that fast before. I've only been here for 2 minutes and I have to act like a spy? The front door opens and Y/N appears wiping her face. She walks quickly along the pebbled footpath over to the road and pulls out her phone, dialing a taxi.

What were Y/N and Alfie doing together? She seems angry to leave and I don't know, maybe... they hooked up? Y/N hangs up her phone and buries her face in her hands, beginning to cry. She starts stomping her foot and I can hear her strangled sobs. She's trying to keep quiet, to show that she's not in pain.

"Y/N." I approach her and she looks up at me. A hard look inflicts her eyes but in the glossy reflection, she's crumbling to pieces. Her lip quivers and I hold it with my thumb. I shake my head and look down at the ground.

Before I could apologise, a car drives up to us. I glance back up at Y/N and she takes my hand off her lip, throwing it away from her. She gets in the taxi and it drives off, leaving me alone.

I didn't like today.

-

"Oh hey!" I wake up to Phil's cheerful voice echoing from the kitchen.

"Do want to do a quick collab for my channel? You can bring your gear if you want to do one for yours?" He continues happily shouting, thanks for ruining my morning.

"Oh who cares about Dan, he won't notice you're here. He's not even awake yet." I spring up in my bed and keep listening.

"Please? Yes! Thank you! Bye!" Phil ends the call and I roll out my bed. I grab a random shirt and my favourite black skinny jeans and put them on.

"Good morning!" I call as I enter the kitchen.

"Phil! My cereal!" I scream horrified.

"Whoops, sorry." He mumbles with a mouthful of cereal.