somnium

seventeen.

"I'm...doing ok, mum," said Piper, hesitantly, trying to keep the tears out of her voice. She missed her parents when she was away at school. She would visit them every weekend if she could, but she knew that each visit only made it harder to say goodbye when she left for her apartment again.

She knew her mom was worried about her. She didn't want to worry her more. Leave out the lake, she told herself.

"How's your anxiety?" asked her mother, almost making Piper break down. "Still bad?"

Piper shrugged, then remembered that her mom couldn't see her. "Still bad," she confirmed. "I'm trying but..." She caught her breath.

Her mother sighed, through the phone. "It'll get better, sweetie. It just takes time."

The same thing Fear had said. She resisted arguing what if it doesn't.

"I'm sending you a package, anyways," said her mother, cheerfully. "Full of your favorite tea, some fuzzy socks, a new book, and a couple of those romantic movies you love..."

Piper sighed. Romantic movies were the last thing she wanted to watch right now, but she would feel bad if she told her mum that. Lately, she had become convinced that she'd never meet anyone. Romance was starting to seem like something that was dead for her.

"Thanks, mum," she said, forcing her voice to sound happy. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Alright honey," said her mom. "I have to go now. Take care. Let me know when you get the package."

"I will." Piper hesitated, before suddenly continuing. "And mum?"

"Yes?"

"I..." She stopped, swallowing against the lump in her throat. She didn't want her mom to leave. All she wanted was to run home and let her mom wrap her arms around her, holding her tight and keeping her safe like she had when Piper was a baby. "I love you," she finally managed to get out.

Her mom sounded surprised at the emotion in Piper's voice. "I love you too, darling," she said. "You'll always be my baby girl."

Piper hung up the phone and laid backwards across her bed, folding her hands across her stomach. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek.

Why was this happening? One moment, she felt almost better, and then the next, she was crying because of a simple phone call from her mom.

She turned off the light and lay there in darkness, letting herself sob into her pillow. You're just being dramatic, she chided herself. Stop it right now.

But she couldn't.

She lay awake for two hours, trying to find a comfortable position in which to actually fall asleep.

The more she lay awake, the more anxiety crept into her mind, clenching her throat, her heart, her stomach...She felt like she was being strangled.

"F-fear?" she said, softly, her voice catching. She needed someone. She needed someone to come and tell her it would be ok. Even if it wasn't in the moment, she needed someone to tell her that it would be in the future.

"Piper?" said Fear, out of the darkness. His voice was as comforting as always, some smooth, indiscernible quality making it soothing. He clicked on a torch, illuminating his face, the beam casting his face into angles and shadow. He looked almost scary, clothed all in black as he was. He was wearing a black beanie this time, in addition to his black jumper and trousers. He almost looked like a house robber.

She glared at him. "Shoes off on the bed!" she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "You know human rules don't really apply to me..." he said. "I don't really get...dirty."