Escaping Rejection

6 . Almost kisses and spaces.

Zayden looked troubled , like he wanted to deny whatever I just said but both him and I knew it was true. He entered a room which turned out to be the kitchen.

"Look I'm trying okay? I know we are mates and you would never hurt me. But then again I'm also an Alpha and I must think for my pack as well. We have suffered a lot and are still suffering due to those two filths. And it doesn't help that whenever I look at you , I see your mother's face while she held a knife to my father's throat. Every time I look into your eyes , I see your father with cruel cold eyes holding my mother captive as her husband was killed before her eyes. Every time I look at you , I see two despicable beings that could go to any lengths , even slaughtering young children to have their way. And I'm sorry I don't trust you yet , but you can't blame me , not when you remind me of the two people I hate the most." Zayden finished , holding on to the table for support.

I couldn't move. It was like someone had thrown a bucket full of ice cold water and I was frozen. I could feel the broken remnants of my heart further shattering into tiny pieces and there was a gaping hole in the place of my heart. All my life I had struggled with acceptance , been rejected wherever I went. But I still continued in the hopes that one day someone would accept me , love me and trust me. But I guess happiness was just not meant for me.

" I guess there's no use of me being here then." I said with a blank face , wiping away the tears which I never realized I shed.

"What? I'm sure I could learn to trust you. I just need some time. I need to see that you are nothing like them."

"If I remind you of them so much just by my face then why does it matter? My looks are never going to change. You may trust me after sometime but a part of you will always be reminded of my parents when you look at me." I said , trying not to break down , but it was hard not to.

"Ionora I-"

"Don't, Zayden." I say , cutting him off. "I think we both need space. You clearly haven't moved on from whatever happened and you are punishing me for no fault of mine. Is if my fault that I look like the people you despise? You clearly need to make a decision. If I cause you so much pain then why don't you just reject me?" Saying that felt like a thousand knives stabbing me at once but it had to be said.
Even he winced when I said that.

"Because I can't Ionora. I can't let you go. You are still my mate no matter what and my wolf needs you. Why do you think I came back for you after running away? It's because I can't stop thinking of you. Yes , there is a part of me which hates the fact that you are a Zendale. That you even have a drop of their blood. But there is another part of me which can't seem to let you go. Which wants you , no , needs you to become mine." He was breathing heavily at the end of his rant.
I ignored the flutter of my heart when he said he wants to make me his and asked, "And which 'part' of yours do you want to listen to?" , dreading to hear his response.

"I don't know" he said , looking at me with sorrow , pain and uncertainty.

"Wow. So you expect me to wait for you while you decide whether or not to accept me?" I said , shocked. "And in the end if you decide to reject me , I need to accept it and go away? " he didn't reply. He looked like he was fighting an inner battle. Liane whimpered quietly in the back of my mind. Zayden's lack of response hurt her as much as it hurt me.

But for a wolf , the bond was much stronger. It was like a physical and spiritual connection between two souls. The connection is built on love and trust and when one of the two is missing , it caused immense pain for our wolves.

I could feel a dull ache start in my head with all this thinking and arguing. Lack of sleep and food had also taken a toll on me. When you're living your life as a rogue , food becomes a luxury and it had been days since I last ate. I just wanted to curl up with a blanket and wake up like all this had been a dream. A bad dream. Not the meeting Zayden part but the whole 'me being a witch part'.

First discovering that your parents are alive , then that they are witches and that you are a part witch and that your mate doesn't trust you one bit. Was it 'make Ionora's life as crappy as possible' day or something?

"You know what? You need to make up your mind. Accept me or reject me. I just can't stand seeing you look at me with disgust in your eyes which may be directed towards my parents but it doesn't hurt me any less. Rejecting me will cause me more pain than that but it would also save you the pain of seeing a copy of your parent's murderers every morning. I'm sure I could stand the pain of rejection as I'm used to it by now. So sleep on it and tell me your decision tomorrow , yeah?" I said , acting nonchalant about it but my insides were screaming otherwise. I turned away from him before I could see his reaction and headed outside the kitchen.

"And don't worry , I'll find the guest bedroom on my own. Good night." I said , leaving the kitchen , but not before sneakily grabbing a pack of flaming hot cheetos someone left on the dining table. Might as well eat free food while I'm here.

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A/N :
Took me a long time to write. It isn't much but I promise the exciting stuff is coming soon. And Zayden didn't talk much did he? I'm thinking of doing Zayden's Pov for this chapter but I'm not sure. So what do you think?
And a 100+ reads in less than two weeks!!! Omg ...thank you.
And please vote and comment if you liked it and if you didn't , tell me how i could improve.
Thank you. And Stay safe.♥

Edited - 10/01/2019