I've Never Cried

Chapter Sixty-Two - "Painkillers."

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Sixty-two

'Painkillers'

Scene...

The Next Evening

Nick's POV

The first day I'd ever met Demi was the first day Selena had ever met Joe. On this same day, Selena fell head over heels for my brother after cheating on me with him for the very first time. She'd lost her virginity to him, thereby tying her soul to his for the rest of her life. The problem was that, Joe had also lost his virginity that night, but he and I were the only ones that knew that. He and I were the only ones that knew that the night he cheated on Demi, he was weaker than any of us could believe.

It wasn't his fault that he was so weak- after all, he had no idea that Selena was the girl he'd given his innocence to in the past. 

But that pull that ties two people together after the purity is cleansed from the both of them; that pull knew good and well what was going on. That pull knew exactly who the both of them were. That pull brought them back together in the most complicated of situational circumstances.

That was why I was so livid.

That was why I was so jealous.

That was what made me fight so hard: Because I knew that I would never have that pull with Selena, no matter how much I fought for it. 

All because my own brother took it from me by mistake.

As much as I wanted to sit and indulge in these thoughts and feelings that Selena's existence had smothered upon me from the day that I met her, I couldn't. Joe's punch to my nose was a hard one, and while it hadn't broken it, I was certain that it was a horrible bone bruise. The pain kept me distracted from my own thoughts, and all I could focus on was ways to make it better. 

I sat on my living room sofa, not at all concerned about the whereabouts of my brother, who I hadn't seen since the day before. An ice pack pressed lightly against the injury, I winced with each inhale. Frankly, I was still pissed at Joe, and I imagined Demi was too.

At the thought of her, almost as if on cue, my phone buzzed twice, alerting me of a text message. I reached down and unlocked my phone, and on the screen appeared a text from her.

     "You okay?"

Setting down the ice pack, I juggled my phone in my hands, unsure of how thoroughly I should answer this question. 

     "Managing," I responded.

The replies were instant, and I knew right away that she was watching the screen for my texts as well. 

     "I miss you."

I furrowed my eyebrows at this, and felt that she had surely mistaken me for my brother or something. 

     "I saw you yesterday, Dem... ," I responded, confused. Then, Demi finally said,

"You know what I mean, Nick. You're not this person."

I hit the call button then, and placed the phone to my ear, floating on the monotonous rings that slowly connected me to Demi.

"Hello?"

"Dem," I stammered, "I need to know."

"Need to know what?" She asked, her voice calm. Still my heart rate increased into a numbing pain in my chest.

"What happened when you found her?"

"Nick, I-,"

"Please!" I shouted, my voice trembling alongside my hands. "Demi, please just...just tell me. Please."

If my own thoughts weren't already running wild, I was sure that I could've heard each and every one of Demi's, if I tried. That pause was filled with so many things, what was left of my own sanity couldn't keep up any longer. Then finally, Demi spoke.

"She... she said that we hated her, and that 'it wasn't supposed to be this way,' and that she was sorry."

I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and suddenly I needed more.

"Did she... was she- was she crying? W-what was she like?" Demi took a shaky breath.

"She, um, wasn't moving at first, and she wouldn't speak. It was almost like she couldn't get to us- like she was trapped in her own head."

"Like some sort of stupor?" I asked.

"Yeah, exactly. But she came back to us. It was only for a little while, but she did."

"What happened?"

I could tell Demi was becoming distraught, likely because recalling the night was probably just as painful as sitting through it in the first place. But for some reason, I didn't stop asking. And even more oddly, she didn't try to stop me like I thought she would.

"She said that she didn't mean to. And she just wouldn't stop apologizing." Demi was choking up, but she pushed through it. "Then we found the bottle of painkillers-,"

"Painkillers?" I asked, and suddenly, it was all clear to me.

-----          

 I reached for the bottle of painkillers and raised them to her eyeline.

          "Need some of these?"

          I looked at her face then, and it occurred to me that she hadn't stopped crying. The tears were still falling, and I hadn't even noticed. She used her good hand to wipe them every few seconds, and reached for the bottle of painkillers.

-----

"This is my fault," I whispered, my eyes widening.

"What?" Demi responded, her tone sharp.

"I gave her those, Demi. . . . I shouldn't have given her those! What the hell is wrong with me? I should've fucking known!"

"Whoa whoa, Nick! Calm down!" Demi shouted through the receiver. "What are you even talking about?"

"I'm the one that gave her those painkillers."

"Nick, you didn't force them down her throat!"

"I might as well have!" I shouted, jumping to my feet. I began pacing then, my free hand tugging at my hair in distress. "I didn't even think it through, Demi. That was so stupid."

"What do you mean, you 'might as well have?' What the hell does that mean?"

I stopped pacing then, and realized.

Demi didn't know.

Taking a few breaths, I lowered my voice, trying to keep both myself and Demi from panicking altogether.

"Dem," I began, pressing the phone to my ear a bit too tightly. "Selena didn't tell you about her father?"

"No," Demi said bluntly. "She never would. Not even when we were kids. All I know is that he died."

"I think I need to come over," I stated, already grabbing my keys. "Where is Joe?"

"He's on his way here."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

With that, I hung up the phone, put on my shoes, and headed out the door.

JJDL