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Journal: Page Nueve

1 August 2009   9:45 pm

Ward 210 (sunshine hospital)


They promised us it wouldn't hurt.

They said it was just a needle. It'll be nothing but a tiny prick. Something I wouldn't even feel. And since I was in a coma, the chances of hurting me were even lower.

They lied. It hurt.

It hurt so much.

Ellie did remember me once the car had  jerked to a stop in front of the hospital.

She'd hurriedly snatched me up from the position I was before and clutched onto me as she took in the looming figure of the hospital. 'Sunshine hospital', it had read.

Sunshine? I scoffed. I don't recall coming to the hospital for a tan. We have beaches for that.

My memories after arriving at the hospital were hazy. The antiseptic smell made the taste of anticipation bitter on my tongue. Who knew what I would look like?

Would there be tubes protruding out of my mouth? Needles sticking into my wrist?

Or would I look pale in the stark-white hospital gown lying between beeping machines and nurses running around me?

All I remember is a nurse leading us to a ward, pushing the door open and then looking at him lying there.

Him, being a thin, pale, skeleton-like clump of a human lying on a bed. Numerous tubes were connected everywhere.

With a jolt I realized, it was me. Or rather, just my body.

A sickening feeling grew in the pit of my stomach as I took in the scene before me. It was everything I'd imagined and worse. I couldn't even recognize myself.

My state of shock was momentarily interrupted when a wet drop fell on my head.

Ellie was crying. But I was too numb to feel anything.

Ellie wasn't the only one crying, I noticed. Ellie, mom and even dad  seemed  to be stunned into silence. Dad, the very same person who'd proclaimed love wasn't for him, had tears in his eyes.

That's when it happened.

A nurse in a stark white uniform walked into the room with a little glass bottle in one hand and an injection in another. Before she could stick the needle into my barely-skinned hand, a hoarse voice spoke up.

"No one will hurt him anymore. Doesn't he have enough needles through him to last a lifetime?" mom muttered and gestured to the IV tubes hanging from my limp body.

The nurse simply gave her a small smile and looked at the assistant for help.

She said it wouldn't hurt. All of them did.

She lied.

It hurt and hurt and hurt.

It hurt until the pain was a distant memory. All I felt was heat. Searing heat in my veins. My blood sang with fire.

I became one with the pain. I was finally setting myself free.

Raw pain.

Flashes of blood.

Screams.

Everything was a blur in a rush of red.

All of a sudden my eyes flew open. I felt different.

I felt human.

The first thing I saw after the darkness and the pain were the nurse's blue eyes opening wide in shock.

"Water", I managed to croak out.

"Water", I managed to croak out

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[Note added on 2 August 2009]

I was human again. This was what I'd wanted from the start. 

Then why did this body feel so wrong?

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