Sucker for Pain//The Joker

Chapter 14: We the Ones You Trust In

            I wake up to the sounds of my own screams and tears streaming down my face. I sit up quickly in a cold sweat, the sheets tangled all around me. My heart is racing and I have a lump in my throat, adrenaline courses through my veins. The door bursts open and a typically shirtless Joker comes rushing to my side. He climbs onto the bed and puts his arm around me for comfort. He rubs my forearms and holds me tight.

          "What's wrong? What happened?" he asks softly. I wipe my tears with my sleeves and sniff.

          "I-it was just a bad dream, just a nightmare," I say with a shaky voice. He rests his head on my shoulder and comforts me a bit longer. I nuzzle my head into his chest.

         "Shh, it was just a dream, you're ok now," kind of ironic, "you're with me, you should go back to sleep," he says letting me go and laying me back down. I turn over as he untangles the bed sheets and lightly places them over me. He gets off of the bed and starts to close the door.

         "J, wait," I say, sitting up again. He opens the door revealing his dark silhouette. "Stay with me?" he hesitates in the doorway but comes in and closes it. He climbs back onto the bed but doesn't get under the sheets. He spoons me over the silky duvet and I snuggle into him. I fall asleep once more to his familiar scent, again thinking of him.

          When I wake up the next morning the bed is empty. I look up groggily and see him sitting hunched over at his desk. He turns around when he hears me shift and turns back to finish what he is working on. He gets up and walks over to the bed awkwardly but still keeping his distance.

          "Are you... feeling any better?" he asks, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

          "I am, yea. A lot better, actually," I say with a small smile. The air between us grows stiff.

         "Alright, well, that's good I guess. I'm just gonna head out," he says dashing for the door.

         "Could you get me something to eat?" I ask before he has the chance to slip away. He sighs, not looking back at me.

         "Sure," and he disappears. I sit patiently on the bed waiting for him to come back but my curiosity gets the best of me. I get up and wonder over to the desk. A few crumpled pieces of paper are scattered around the desk in frustration. I pick up two pages with a lot of scribbled marks on them. They look like some sort of plan, hell if I know what the plan is. The writing is practically unreadable. I put them back in the same place as carefully as I can as to go undetected. I climb back in bed and lean my head against the backboard, crossing my legs. J comes back in with a bowl of cereal and a cup of orange juice. He carefully hands them over to me, trying not to spill. I grab them eagerly and immediately start to devour the cereal as I haven't eaten in a while. He sits hunched over at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. He runs his hands through his bright green hair.

           "Do you know what you do to me?" he asks quietly, not looking up. I sense a slight fear in his voice. I stop eating and lower the bowl. My heart rate starts to go up and my hands feel clammy.

           "What, what do you m-mean?" I ask nervously. He sighs and clasps his hands together in front of him.

           "I'm not afraid of you, how could I be? I'm just... afraid of what you do to me," he almost looks defeated. I stay silent, not wanting to interrupt his deep thought. "You make me weak," he says with a self-deprecating laugh. He finally looks towards me and his bright blue eyes meet mine.

           "How can I make you weak? You're so on and off, you torment and torture me in malicious ways, and then you put me here in your lavishly styled room. You make me dinner and you kiss me and then you poison me and use me as live entertainment at one of your parties. I just don't get how you can do that, doesn't it get tiring? If anything, you make me weak." I say, barely a whisper. He rubs his face in frustration and sighs once more.

          "No one's ever lasted as long as you have before, you know, with the torture. Usually just one session and they join me and my crew. I hardly ever get to know them beforehand. But you... I don't understand how you've held out this long. I don't know how else to make you join me."

          "Why me? Why not someone else? Why not go and kidnap another unsuspecting girl?"

         "Because... I-I need you." He says stuttering for the first time.

         "Why do you need me?"

         "Because I just do, ok?" he says standing up, frustrated. "I've already planned everything out with you in my plans, it's gonna be a hassle to go out and kidnap someone else at this point." He says sitting back down on the bed. I put my cereal bowl on the bedside table and move the covers to the side. I crawl over to the end of the bed and sit next to him. I sit on my hands, making notice of the few inches between us. I can still feel the heat of his body against mine from that far away. I look ahead but I still listen to the sounds he makes. His even breathing, his knuckles popping, his feet tapping. "I've grown attached." He finally admits.

          "To me?" I ask, even though the answer is fairly obvious. I look over at him and he nods his head grimly, as if caring for someone is a weakness. I scoot closer to him and I rest my head on his arm. He tenses up but doesn't protest. I slip my arm around his and reach for his open hand. I slip my fingers through his and he stares at our intertwined hands for a minute and slowly closes his around mine. We stay like that for a while, just enjoying each other's presence.

           He stands up hesitantly but I don't let go of his hand. He doesn't let go either. He pulls me up off the bed and closer to him, taking my other hand too. I start breathing heavier and I can't take my eyes off of him. We stare into each other's eyes, neither of us daring to move.

          "I can't..." he says pulling away. He lets go of my hands and turns to leave. I run after him and step in front of his weary form, blocking his way out. "Sophie, please..." he says as he tried to step around me, but I don't let him. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair and looks to the ground. I step towards him and wrap my arms around him, leaning into his chest and listening to his strong heartbeat. For a while he doesn't move but he eventually returns the embrace, wrapping his muscular arms around me and resting his chin at the top of my head.

           He moves his hands slowly up my back and to my face. He caresses my cheeks in his hands, rubbing his thumb gently over them. I study the expression on his face, a mixture of longing and hesitance. I wrap my hands around his neck and get ready to make the first move because I know he wouldn't dare. I reach up slowly and close the gap between us, brushing his lips with my own. The kisses start out slow and sweet but quickly turn into something more, heavier and passionate. He doesn't hold back this time and neither do I. My heart races at the feel of his bare skin against mine and I just can't seem to get enough. He pulls away quickly.

          "Join me..." he whispers. Something takes over me and I nod my head, my eyes never leaving his. He smiles and pulls me back in and we continue making out. We find our way to the bed and the rest of the night is history.

Here's an extra long one for you! I've started school today but I'm glad I got to update kind of on time! Enjoy :)

-elkj13