The World Is Worth A Smile

Blushing Freedom

"Right, come on. Cole, Jasmine. If we are going to do this it has to be now."

"Yeah, we're ready. Right Jasmine?" Cole replies, hastily pulling my hand into his and fixing me with a reassuring stare.

"Yes. Let's go." I say firmly, surprised by how confident I sound. Lauren nods, smiling, and as I turn my focus back to our surroundings I see the glass doors of the north exit opening before us. A cool blast of September air whips through my hair and I close my eyes, breathing in the scents of autumn.

Releasing Cole's hand I begin to run, racing through the doors and out into the day. I spread my arms wide, letting the crisp russet leaves swirl around me and the sounds of the city crowd my ears. It feels incredible, it feels like hope, like release. Like freedom.

"Jasmine!"

I turn to see Cole jogging up behind me, a huge grin plastered to his face. His eyes sparkle and I imagine that the same expression of joy is reflected in my own face.

Just for the moment, I couldn't care less about my mother. I am here, now, breathing fresh, cold air into my lungs; a part of the city again. A part of real life. And, god, it feels good.

"I have never felt like this," Cole whispers, running his hands through his hair and staring round in wonderment, "Never felt so happy."

"Me neither." I reply crunching my feet amongst the leaves already littering the pavement. "My heart feels so light, as if the walls of the hospital had been pressing down on me all this time and I never knew."

As I finish speaking, I see Lauren hovering out of the corner of my eye, worry clearly plastered across her countenance.

"Lauren?" I inquire, walking to her side.

"Its okay, Jasmine. I just think we should get moving now, this is still all unbelievably fragile."

"Of course, sorry. We need to go."

The hospital looming behind us suddenly feels very close and I turn away, a shiver running through me. I am not so naive to forget about how quickly this could all crumble.

"Okay, follow me. Just stay close, please, it is busy everywhere in this city."

And then Lauren is off, her clear anxiety propelling her through the crowded streets. Cole and I hurry behind her, our euphoria subdued slightly by Lauren's reality check, weaving amongst the early Saturday shoppers with their jostling bags and loud chatter. Even so, neither of us can keep a smile from creeping up on our faces. I may have lived here all my life but suddenly I am seeing this place in a new light, in a way not tainted by the darkness within that used to be so dominant.

Right now, however, the darkness feels so distant that it is easy to forget it was ever there at all.

***

Lauren's flat is a fair walk from the hospital, situated in the east end of town near the new pleasure lake. Even so, I am so infatuated by the sights and sounds of real, unsterilised life that the walk seems to pass in a blur of colour and noise.

All too soon, her key is turning in the lock and the three of us stumble inside, the door clicking shut behind us. It is a modest 2 bedroom apartment, sparsely furnished, yet with a comforting, homely feel. The atmosphere has a certain safety about it that instantly sets me at ease.

I can tell Cole feels the same as he wanders over to the slightly worn, navy blue sofa and sits down, stretching his legs out before him as Lauren takes a seat in an armchair by the window. I join Cole on the sofa, resting my head against his shoulder.

We sit together for a moment in silence before Lauren gets up again and begins to pace backwards and forwards. My eyes follow her as she moves round the drinks table, up to the window, round the sofa and back again, her hands jittering nervously. Eventually, she speaks:

"I'm sorry, Jasmine. I don't want to have to make you do this now but we haven't really got a choice. You will have to speak to child protection, tell them everything. As you are nearly a certified adult, they won't put you in care but if you don't speak to them and launch your court case the hospital will just take you back and then your mother will no doubt find a way to cause you further harm."

I take a shaky breath, standing up too and walking over to the window. I watch as a lone woman strolls along the lake edge, her little terrier running around her legs, relishing in a few moments off the lead.

I know that this has got to be done, but the thought of telling someone everything that I have suffered is truly terrifying. I have been trying so hard to put it all behind me and talking about it will just make the memories come flooding back.

Yet there is no their way.

"Okay, I'm ready." I say, turning back to Lauren and Cole who is now perched anxiously on the edge of the sofa. He stands up as I speak, walking over to squeeze my hand as Lauren hands me the phone.

I press it to my ear, letting the ringing consume me as I try to prepare myself. I count five rings and then:

"Hello? Youth helpline. How can I assist?"

Author's Note:

Hello again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I hope it is getting more exciting! Please vote if you did like it and comment your thoughts- it makes me ridiculously happy!

Now, you may have noticed that this chapter is a bit longer than usual. I am going on holiday next week and MAY not be able to post an update. If that is the case, I will post it as soon as I get back (Sunday 4th September). I hope you will understand! Lots of Love to each and every one of you wonderful readers,
AutumnSwift1 XXX