Choices

Is it the Truth Though?

Amanda's POV

It's wrong. I should put a stop to it, but I can't. He's the prince, how do I say no to him. I can't, both physically and emotionally. I want him too much. I know it's bad to say, but he's perfect and he makes me feel safe even thought deep down I know it's not going to last. 

I walk back to my room, forgetting about pretty much everything. I can only seem to think about the fact that I spent the night with him. A full night. And he didn't kick me out, he wasn't mean, in fact he was almost nice...

"Amanda, where the hell were you," my best friend Sophia asks when I enter our small room. I look at her for a second. I didn't even realize that I had made it to my room. 

"I was... I went to the bathroom," I blurt out as I try to act casually. I walk over to my plain white nightstand and set my owl locket. I can feel Sophia's eyes on me the entire time. I try to ignore her as I let my mind go back to thinking of the prince. I sit on my bed and instantly begin to compare his to mine; the prince's bed is much more conformable and warm. No doubt about it.

"Amanda, I waited all night for you, don't lie, where were you," I hear Sophia say. I can't get out of this one.

I take a breath as my heart beats faster. If I told her anything it would just end badly, not that I don't trust Sophia, but I don't want her to think less of me. I already think less of myself.

I turn and stare at her. Her worried expression doesn't fade. I close my eyes and stand straighter.

"If I tell you will you promise that you won't think less of me, please?"

"Why would I ever think less of you, Amanda. You're my best friend."

I nod slowly, my eyes shifting to the floor. "Okay," I say softly. "A few months ago, when I started working for the prince, he asked me to see him. I did. He told me that he really like me. I of course was shocked, I mean the prince liking me. Anyways, we talked for a few days, but one night he asked me to stay... stay the night or well more like an hour. I did, I wanted to. Since then we've... had sex... many times. I never stay with him the whole night, but today I accidently did and... that's where I was. That's the truth..." I don't look at her. Scared to see what her facial expression is. 

"You mean, you sleep with the prince! With the next king of Illea, the prince who is going to have a selection in a few weeks. Are you out of your mind. Amanda you could get sent to jail, worse, you can get killed."

"I know, I know, but it's not like I can turn him down, he's the prince remember." I sigh, frustrated.

"Well, in that case... how is he," Sophia says smirking as she sits next to me on the bed.

I roll my eyes and let out a soft chuckle. "He's breathtaking," I say biting my lip. "But, I always feel like we're going to get caught."

"Well if you do, won't he defend you."

"No, Prince Jeremiah doesn't love me, we rarely even talk anymore, not that we talked much in the past. He would blame everything on me and I would be done for."

"You don't know that."

"I don't know, he obviously just uses me for sex, if he did love me he would have turned down his selection so..."

"Mmm, that's a good point, but don't give up so easily." She pauses and then looks up at me. "Do you love him?"

"I don't know, I like him, a lot. I feel safe with him even though I don't know anything about him. I'm pretty sure that isn't love though. If I don't know anything about the guy, it's definitely not love."

Me and Sophia sit there for a few minutes thinking about my situation. I told her about what's been happening with the prince but for some reasons I couldn't tell her about another small detain that had been worrying me for some time now. It's been keeping me up and I usually use the prince as an escape from my thoughts. I can't tell her though, she would get worried and I don't want to stress her out.

After a little while we both decide it's time to leave for our duties. Sophia works in the kitchens. She was always destined to be a cook; her parents are both chefs. 

I go to the prince's room while Sophia goes to the kitchen. As Susan and Michelle, the other two maids clean his room, I clean the bathroom making sure I set out fresh towels and dry all the lingering drops of water from his previous shower.

I am not going to lie, thinking of Prince Jeremiah in the shower gets me all tingly inside, but I choose to ignore my feelings. All I hope is that this doesn't end badly. When the selection starts I'm going to ask him to stop whatever we have. He will marry someone from the selection and that will be the end of me and the prince.