Choices

Breaking the Rules

Jeremiah's POV

You know that feeling that a person gets when they know they're doing something wrong but they can't help but do it anyway? Well, that's what I'm feeling this very moment. I'm laying breathless, looking at the brown haired beauty next to me. She's curled up beside me, comfortably laying on her side. She's sweaty, we both are but I don't really give a shit at this point. This is bad. I know it's wrong, but I can't control myself when she's around me. Something about her makes me rebel against all the dumb laws that my parents and ancestors have grown up with.

Amanda slowly rolls off the bed almost like she doesn't want to leave quite yet. She zips up the back of her gray maid's dress and slips into her black flats. Taking a breath, she smooths down the wrinkles of the skirt, she gives me a small smile. Without saying a word she makes the side of the bed she was on and makes sure to leave the pillows leaning on the headboard. I watch her do it and wonder why. She always does this but she doesn't need to. Someone else can do it in the morning. Maybe she does it to hide what we do or because, after all, it is her job to clean my room.

"I'll see you in the morning, your highness," she says softly. I don't want her to leave so I sit up to stop her.

"Wait, can we do that one more time," I say grinning. What Amanda and I share is what some might call friends with benefits, except I'm not really her friend, she's just a young maid that works with two other girls to serve me. I noticed her about two months ago and had to do something in order to start talking with her. I didn't get to know her much, although I did get to know her body very well. Now this is a frequent thing we do. But it's become something that I desire more than anything and it scares me.

I see her shift uncomfortably, switching from one foot to the next, but I still see the corners of her mouth move up slightly. She's not necessarily the most confident girl, she squirms a lot, blushes easily, and is quiet. I always get the feeling that she's nervous. I don't know if it's because she doesn't like it or if it's just because, like me, she knows this is wrong. I remember the first time we slept with each other she said yes eagerly. Almost like she's always wanted it. I have never forced myself on her and I don't plan on it, ever. Even though I'm a rule breaker, my mother has taught me well enough not to do things like that.

I've always known that I will never let myself be with someone of lower class. Amanda is a six, I know that. But this is just a bit of fun right? It doesn't mean anything.

"I just got dressed, though," she says fidgeting with her hands and curling the tips of the white apron attached to the front of the dress.

I stand up and walk over to her. I find it kind of cute how she's almost a foot shorter than me. I tower over her with my height of six two. Her hair, a shade of dark brown is in a messy bun that she put together seconds ago. I notice how much this hairstyle changes her face completely compared to the neat and tight ponytail she wore when she first walked in here an hour ago. Her hazel eyes stare back at me, she seems on edge for some reason and for a second I think twice about asking for another round.

"Please, it'll be quick," I promise. I fit a strand of her hair behind her ear and caress her cheek with my thumb until it reaches her chin. I lift it slowly until we're looking at each other again. I grin when I stare into her eyes, they're very pretty. She hesitates but finally nods and I lean in to give her a soft kiss. I turn us around and walk her back to my side of the bed. Hovering over her I take off her dress and for a split second I think twice about this, but of course my body takes over my brain and I let it.

I remember as a child I would always wake up with the chirping sounds of birds by my window and I loved it. But today I wake up hearing Amanda's soft breaths and the sound of rain hitting the window. She's breathing softly and for some reason, I love this more than any chirp. Even though this situation is a little awkward I kind of like having her next to me.

She moves slightly and turns to her side, her whole body is now facing me. She opens her eyes and looks up at me sleepily. She sighs contently as she cuddles closer into my chest and I feel her warmth, it feels nice. I look at her again and say nothing when her hazel eyes flash open in horror and shame. She jumps out of the bed, blinking fast. Her face looks pale and I'm about to ask her if she's okay but she's already running towards over to the door.

I get out of bed and decide that I might as well shower and dress than think about her. A little while later I walk into the dining table and find everyone already there. What time is it? I'm usually the first one to get down to breakfast.

"Jeremiah, son what took you so long this morning," my father says as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Slept in I guess," I say, smiling at my mother and sister and ruffling my younger brother's hair as I'm handed my breakfast.

I watch my sister Katelyn dive into her pancakes like she's five even though she is seventeen. My parents scold her every time, well my dad does. My mom understands you could say that she's a breakfast fanatic as well. I start eating and soon my plate is empty, but before I can leave my parents ask me to see them in dad's office.

I nod, rolling my eyes when I turn my back to them. What do they want this time, I can't live in peace anymore. They're always on my back about things and I always get in a pissy mood when they hold me back to talk or ask so many questions.

I'm kept waiting in my dad's office which doesn't make me feel any better. The doors finally open and I see my father guiding my mother inside, his hand behind her back.

"Jeremy," my mother begins. "Your father and I were thinking that because you are turning nineteen next week, we could start your Selection."

I look at them for a second before finally shrugging. "Sure." They look stunned, did they think I was going to get mad or really excited?

"You.. sound so nonchalant about it," My dad comments. "Son, this is a big deal, you're going to be looking for your future wife."

"I know," I say unfazed by what he's saying. The Selection didn't come as a surprise to me. I knew that when I turn nineteen I'm going to have a Selection.

He looks confused as he stares me down. I can't help but let a smile creep onto my face. "Ah dad, if only I could have been there during your selection. It seems to me that you would have needed a friend to tell you to relax. It's not a big deal, they're just a bunch of girls. They should be nervous; I'm the one in control. At the end of the day, what do I have to lose." I look back at my parents and they both look shocked.

"Jeremiah you are acting very calmly about this. This is a big deal," my mother says.

"You can't just pick any girl. You need to pick one with motive, with heart, and loyalty to Illea," My dad adds.

"And I will, but I don't see this as something I need to stress about."

They don't say anything after that and I decide after a very pregnant pause that I have better things to do.

"We don't want to be let down, son," my dad says before I get a chance to leave.

"I understand. You won't be. " I close the door behind me and am met with silence. Even though I claim I'm not nervous for the Selection, I am. Slightly. But it is exciting thinking about the fact that I get to have thirty-five girls and I can have them for as long as I want. This is truly a happy birthday to me.