Loving You

chapter seven

Lots of Love,

-Rania

The two were silent as she read the letter.

"It's pathetic, really." Yusuf chuckled, breaking the awkward silence ; it sounded cold and dismal.

"She loved you." Durdanah whispered. "She loved you more than she loved anything or anyone in this world."

"The letter says otherwise." He gestured gloomily.

"I know she's the one that penned it. But Yusuf, trust me. I trust Rania, there's no way. It wasn't a man. She might have left you for one, but not her daughter." Durdanah explained truthfully.

"Hey, Duri?"

"Hm?"

"What happened?"

"I guess she wasn't think-" He interrupted her, "No, not about Rania. What happened to you?"

She was taken aback as she swallowed her inability to talk. She couldn't find any words to avail her.

She pondered over what to say for a while before shrugging, "Life happened."

"Hey, Yusuf?"

"Ya?"

"Is this why you're getting married?" 

"Ya." He blew at a piece of paper as he looked up. "Hamsa needs a mother just like I needed a father."

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be. Why are you getting married now? And that too, to a man with a child from a failed marriage." He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Hm, me? I did marry." She choked on her words. "I-I did. When I was 21. I was married for three years."

"Can I ask?"

"What do you want to ask?"

"What the hell did that bastard do to you in those three years?" He whispered quietly, bitterness seeping through his voice.

She froze in place. She wasn't that obvious, was she? At a loss for words, she sat quiet for a moment.

"Why?"

"You can't talk properly. You stutter and have a lisp. You dress differently. You look scared of me. You were never scared of me."

"I-I'm not scared." Durdanah protested.

"Look at you. You're cowering, shivering in fear. I don't like it." He justified his reasoning.

She remained reticent. " I can't even recognize you anymore. You aren't the same person. What'd he do to you, Durdanah?"

She hated her name. She hated the way Arham used it mockingly and made her feel deplorable. She hated the way her name lingered in the air as a threat. She had come to hate her name for the past four years and for the first time. For the first time in those four years, she didn't mind it much.

Yusuf always did have a gentle voice. His voice was soft, and kind unlike the men she knew. Their voices were rough and callused.

She didn't mind the way her name sounded in his voice. She didn't mind it at all.

It was only the third time he'd ever called her Durdanah. The second also from this evening. But, she'd remembered the first time clearly; the memory engraved into her mind. 

She sobbed in an isolated corner of the school, her head in her arms as she weeped. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair how she had to not only be the one from a dysfunctional family, but no. She also had to be the one with the weird skin.

"Hey, you alright?" Came a voice from behind her.

She quietly wiped away her tears, hoping that the boy didn't notice as she turned around and beamed. "Hi, Yusuf. What's up, mate?" She asked, trying to keep her tears down as she smiled.

"You were crying." He stated, as he handed her a tissue. 

"Thanks, Yusuf but no I wasn't. I'm alright. I always am." She appreciated his generosity but denied that she was crying. 

"What happened?" The boy asked softly as he clenched his fists.

"Nothing." The little girl lied.

"I was there. I saw how Mark was making fun of you. And, I saw how Liliana refused to high five you and I saw how even the teacher flinched at shaking your hand. I saw." 

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be."

"I never asked for this, I never asked for this scaly reptile skin. I hate eczema."

He gave her a small platonic hug. The two sat quietly on the stairs in silence, enjoying the bright blue sky.

"Be happy, Durdanah." He smiled at her, the sun's bright light shining on his golden brown hair, creating a halo around his face. And in that moment, Durdanah could have sworn he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

"You sparkle. Don't let idiots like that dim your light." The boy high-fived her before walking away.

"I'm sorry." She sounded nostalgic, thinking of the memory. The light had been dimmed a long time ago.

They were both sorry.

Yusuf smiled at her, morosely. "It's a yes from me."