Yusuf lay in bed that night, wondering why his mother had this sudden change of heart. He could take care of Hamsa, right? Or was he failing as a father? I already failed as a husband, and now as a father, too?
He remembered how his mother had cherished him when he got his first A. When she had trusted him when he'd married Rania at the tender age of 18. When she'd comforted him when the love of his life had left him broken. She'd guided him when he was lost. He remembered his mother wiping away his tears.
He couldn't deprive Hamsa of that. He couldn't. He refused to.
How could he do that to his daughter?
His precious child?
His little girl?
The first time Yusuf had married, he'd fought to marry Rania. He'd fought for her with everything he had. He'd married her for he couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else. And, it had proven to be a mistake. A selfish mistake. A mistake that had ruined lives. Destroyed hearts. And, broken people.
Now, God was giving him a chance to fix that mistake.
This time. This time, he'll marry not for himself but for his little girl. Not for a wife. A lover. A partner. But, instead, for a mother. A mother for a child who deserved one more than any other.
Ya Allah, please let this fix my mistake. Please let me find a mother for Hamsa.
And, with that Yusuf closed his eyes.
But, sometimes, we get more than we expected.
***
Durdanah opened her eyes. She hadn't slept peacefully in 3 years. He still haunted her. Plagued her mind, her thoughts, and even her sleep.
Her mother opened the door, a big smile gracing her face. "Durdanah!" Safia had a look of excitement.
"Ya, Mum? Everything alright?" She asked, it was odd for her mother to be this excited in the morning. Usually, Safia was very irritated in the mornings and cranky.
"More than alright!" Then, suddenly, her tone became quite serious.
"Durdanah, hear me out before you say anything, okay?" She nodded, curiously.
"Durdanah, so you know how I made friends with Tahira at the mall last time?"
"Ya, she was pretty nice."
"Well! Guess what?! Today, I was talking to her. I bumped into her at the grocery store this morning. And, her nephew is looking to get married!"
Durdanah dismisses the gossip. "Okay, cool, Mum."
But to her surprise, Safia held on to her daughter's hand and looked at her straight in the eye.
"Durdanah, he was married once before. But has since been divorced, he wants a mother for his child. He doesn't care about the woman's past or anything. He just wants his daughter to grow up with a mother by her side."
Durdanah's eyes grew wide. She couldn't believe what her mother was so easily suggesting. She just got up and locked herself in the bathroom.
No. No. No.
No way was her own mother suggesting marriage after that divorce.
Then again, no one did believe her when she told them about Arham and his almost psychotic tendencies. The way he stole her dignity, her pride, her love, her happiness. The way he tore at who she was until she remained just a remnant of her old self.
They all thought she hadn't fought for her marriage. They all thought she had just got a divorce just because.
No. She'd fought for her marriage with tears and blood. She'd fought for her stolen honour. She'd fought harder than she ever had in her life.
What do they know?
She'd broken herself in that marriage.
The first time she'd married, she'd married for her parents. She married for them. She married so that they'd be happy. She couldn't say no. She never learnt how.
She'd married for her family, and her parents. For her mother. For her father. She couldn't refuse those eyes.
She eyed the well-built man in front of her, warily. He was good looking. There was no doubt about it. His cream-coloured skin, short black hair and piercing blue eyes. Those eyes scared her. They held no warmth and there was something about those eyes that chilled her to the bone.
He caught her staring and gave her a smile. That smile.
"So, Durdanah, how do you feel about this? Would you like to marry Arham?" She looked into the warm eyes of her father, as he smiled upon her, reassured she'd keep his pride. She was about to shake her head but seeing her father look at her so expectantly so proudly killed all thoughts of refusing.
Instead, she didn't even realize she was nodding. "Sure, Dad."
The smile her father gave her at that moment erased all of the regret she felt at uttering those words.
That was the first time, she'd seen her father smile at her so...so kindly. So gently. She saw love in her father's eyes for the first time and pride and joy in her mother's.
Arham grinned, and his parents smiled happily.
She'd faced more than she'd bargained for.
No. She refused. She wasn't going to marry any man after Arham.
No.
Durdanah wanted to be selfish for once in her life. To do what she wanted to. Say what she wanted to say. She wanted for once to have a choice in her life. Oh, she wanted it so badly.
It wasn't fair.
How she had to suffer because of all of that.
No one knew the pain and suffering she carried in her heart. Not a soul.
No one knew of the torture inflicted on her body. Her soul.
Arham had destroyed not only her relationship with her family and friends and work but he'd destroyed everything that Durdanah had ever lived for.
Safia knocked on the door quietly.
"Durdanah, I'm worried about you. I can't sleep at night because I'm so terrified of how you're doing. If you don't care about me, then at least care about your dear father. He's losing sleep and getting ill because of how worried he is for you."
Baba? Ill?
"What?"
"Yes, Durdanah. Your father was quiet before. But now? He doesn't talk. He feels responsible and guilty for that marriage."
No.
"...Re..Really, Mum?" She whispered.
"Yes, sweetheart. Things aren't well at home." Safia pleaded. "Please, Durdanah. It will work out just fine this time. I promise."
Baba's sick because of me? If anything happens to him, it'd be my fault. No! I have to fix this.
****
1 hour later
Durdanah finally comes out of the bathroom, not bothering to hide her misery.
"I'll get married, Mum." Her voice, drained out of energy. She was just so tired of feeling like a burden, feeling worthless and useless. It's not like her life could get any worse, right?
Ya Allah, please. Just this once. Let me do something right.
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SpiritualYusuf's revered wife has left without a trace leaving him to single-handedly raise their 1 year old with Down Syndrome all by himself. Between being heartbroken, working and being both Hamsa's mother and father, he's found himself to have aged a de...
