Secrets Within - Larry Stylinson, Ziam, Nosh - Book 1

Cracks in the System

As the news report faded into another story, the 4 boys were in shock, especially Louis, who within minutes was crying into his hands.

"It's all my fault!" Louis sobbed, and Niall immediately jumped onto the sofa next to him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Liam joined them, sitting on the other side of the crying boy and rubbing soothing circles on his back, just as Harry had done for him earlier that morning.

"Don't blame yourself Lou, it's not your fault, why would you think that?" Liam said, and Louis squeezed Niall tighter, unable to speak through his sobs.

Zayn, however, didn't stop to witness any more. Instead, he bolted up the stairs and into his room, before immediately dialling Harry's number, begging silently that he would pick up. Within a few seconds, the dialling tone stopped, and a quiet muffling sound could be heard at the other end of the line.

"Hello?" Said Harry's small voice on the other end of the line.

"Haz, it's Zayn, you alright?"

"Erm no, not really. But that isn't something you need to worry about. I've already caused you all enough stress with my actions. Are you ok?"

"Harry, of course I'm going to worry about you, you are one of my best mates, despite whatever had happened between you and Lou"

"Wait, you know about what happened?" Harry's voice suddenly sounded very worried.

"No. But have you seen the news lately?"

"Yes, about the fans worrying because of me and my strange actions. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I'm making it even harder for you guys when I thought I was making it better by not being there."

"Why would that be better for us?"

"Because I was upsetting you all. Louis couldn't sleep because of me, the tension was unbearable when I was around. I mean, think about it, this is the first time I've really spoke to you since... Well, like months ago"

"Hazza, mate, it's hurting us more that you aren't here with us than it ever was when you were here. Louis hasn't gone an hour without shedding a tear, Liam is more protective than usual, trying to cheer everyone else up instead of letting us help him, Niall seems to know more than we do about everything, and then there's me. Harry, I miss you. Louis probably misses you more, but I do miss you a lot too. And I'm sorry, because it's our fault you aren't here, even though Louis is adamant that it is solely his fault."

"That is probably because of me that he thinks that"

"Why?"

"We were texting, I told him he couldn't help me, and just told him to read the journal to figure out the issue, and given the contents of at least some of the early entries, I can see why he's getting that idea"

"Harry, I love you, but seriously can't you just come home and talk to Louis in person? We have tour in 2 days and this is frankly getting ridiculous now. The fans are already clicking on and no offence, I'm not sitting through another management interrogation because you can't man up and face whatever this is head on" Zayn was getting more agitated on the phone, and Harry started crying.

"I know Zayn, I know. But I'm sorry I just can't right now" He said between sobs, and Zayn's voice softened as he realised how upset he had made him.

"But why though?"

"I... It's in the journal. I can't really bring myself to say it to you."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I won't push you anymore. But you know I would never judge you Harry, you can tell me anything"