I Gotta Kill the Prom Queen

Ch. 2 "We Are All Losers"

Tiffany began my training the same day. She started with my "attitude".

"We are all losers, some of us are just less loser like than others. Like me. At this school I'm at the top of the loser pile. But take me to another pond and I may be somewhere near the top instead of at the top. See?"

I nodded my head and followed her to the bathroom. Yes, I admit it. I followed her to the bathroom. I was in now. My tongue wagging and my invisible jellyfish net waving maniacally catching her every word. I wanted to be at the top of the loser pile.

"Look at the goldfish. The goldfish will grow as big as it has room to grow. Did you know that? Put it in a tiny bowl and you get a runty fish. In order to be the top of the heap you have to grow as big as your bowl will allow."

She smiled at me with a creepy smile that your grandmother would give you right before she stuck you in the oven.

I watched her reflection. She had make up down to a ten minute moment. Like a nascar pit crew her hands a flurry of activity and motion until she was satisfied. And when she was finished she lifted her hands to start on her hair and stopped in mid air. Her eyes scanning for any unmanageable lock. Finding nothing out of place she cocked her head and grinned.

"It's all about keeping it in place." She said as she turned and strutted out of the bathroom leaving me staring at my own pale reflection.

Mindi, the current second in command bobble head stuck her head in the door.

"Tiff says be at her car at 3:04. Any later than that and we leave you."

The head disappeared back out the door and I held on to the sink. Was I really doing this? Giving up everything to fit in with a crowd I knew would chew me up and spit me out? Hell yeah I was. I was about to outgrow this pond.

I barely paid attention to my afternoon classes. Which was fine since it was the first day and it was all "Hello. This will be a great class unless you act like idiots and then it will suck. Here are the rules. Follow them and we will all break into high school musical singalongs while bluebirds dance around the whiteboard."

I'd heard it all before. Like a million times. Being a junior sucked even worse than being a sophomore.

When the bell rang I bolted. My boots clicking down the hall leaving just an echo and a blur. I was getting in the pink convertible. I was going to be high school famous. And all because I had ladyballs! Take that mom. Still think all that YouTube binging was time wasted, I think not madam!

When I got to the car at 3:02 Tiffani was rubbing the chest of Ronald McDonald. (Unfortunate name, I know. And no, he isn't heir to the McDonalds throne. His family actually owns a huge farm on the outskirts of town. They breed thoroughbreds and have had two former Kentucky derby winners and this year are looking at a possible triple crown winner. That's big stuff in these parts).

The trio of Tiffani's minions sat in the car staring straight ahead. Tiffani rubbed her hands across Ronald's chest and gently stuck her knee in his crotch. He leaned in to kiss her and she turned her head to the side. For a brief minute I thought he was going to French her cheek, but his tongue snaked back in its mouth hole and he gave her a peck kiss instead.

I couldn't help staring at his crotch. I mean. I'll be honest. I had zero guy experience. Not even a brother. And yes, I have seen a boy part. I mean, hasn't everyone? But I've never seen one at attention and ready for action. My mind kept going through the science of it. How the blood rushes from their body to fill it up with blood. Engorging it and making it erect. I couldn't help wonder if he knew it was happening, and if it hurt.

Tiffani spoke sweet and soft. "You know I want you Ronald, but think of poor....umm, what's your name newbie?"

They both glanced my way and I froze. I couldn't think. And I couldn't pull my eyes away from the budge in his pants. My brain was screaming for me to say something, to do anything so I blurted out "Aria". (Which happens to be my favorite character from
Pretty Little Liars, but does not happen to be my name).

"Aria. See. She even has trouble with her name. She needs my help Ronnie, and I'm all about giving. Just look at her. Dull hair, boots from the shelf, obviously she's special needs, I mean she can't stop staring at your package. Would you really want me to turn this poor orphan away?"

I snapped my eyes toward his face. He smiled and his dimples showed. He was cute. All that farm work had definitely played in his favor. He had muscles attached to his muscles and the tan skin made his blue eyes sparkle and his teeth look like he belonged in a crest whitening commercial. Ronald walked to where I was leaning against the car and looked me over. He bent down, slowly, until he was face to face with me and planted a kiss on my lips.

What can I say? I kissed him of course. No tongue, I just closed my eyes and let my lips enjoy the moment. Nothing else moved. My body was frozen like Anna when Elsa hit her with that ice spell. I was at a loss for how to make anything move.

He backed off my lips and laughed. "Ok Tiff. I see what you mean. She's got potential all right. Have fun with your mini me. But Friday you're mine."

Tiffani got into the car and adjusted all the mirrors so she could look at herself in all of them. "Aria, are you getting in the car? Please tell me you aren't really an idiot. I don't have time for failure. Get in."

I scrambled into the back between the two minions whose names I didn't know. The tingle of my lips causing a perpetual smile.

As we peeled out the parking lot spraying pebbles behind us Tiffani gave me a look in the rearview mirror. And just for an instant, I think I saw the look of a serial killer about to make a kill. I shook off the shiver and leaned back into the soft leather. The wind in my face, the sun in my hair, this was going to be epic.

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In hindsight, I should have taken that murderous glance a little more serious. But, like a guy, that kiss had taken all the blood out of my brain and sent it somewhere else. No, I don't have a boy part but if you've had your first kiss you get it. My brain cells were flooded with hormones and rainbows and I was an idiot.