Bullshit, Rants, and Lols

50% Off (Free! Iwatobi Swim Club Abridged) Quotes

Explanation at the end
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Makoto: Nagisa, why don't you just, be yourself, walk up to him, and tell him how you feel?

Nagisa: Thanks for the lesson Boy Meets World, how's YOUR repressed love life doing?

Makoto: I don't know Nagisa, how's your mother's drinking problem going?

Nagisa: ...below the belt Makoto...

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Nagisa: How's it going run-buns?

Rei: That is not my name...!

Nagisa: Well you like to run, and I like your buns. You can call me--

Rei: Nagisa Hazuki, alias as Rock Hopper Hazuki, the Iwatobi Ice-pick, and on your last studio album, "big papa ng". I know who you are.

Nagisa: I see my reputation as a mastermind and entrepreneur precedes me.

Rei: I do hope you are using the term "mastermind" as a form of comedy joke. Your arrest record is extensive and amateur.

Nagisa: You challenge one teen pop star to a drag race and flour and suddenly everyone's talking-- AMATEUR?! I KILLED A MAN WITH A SPEAK-AND-SPELL ONCE.

Rei: it's as I said, amateur. The fact that you continue to avoid indefinite incarceration is insanity-- AND THE FACT THAT OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT CANNOT PUT AWAY SOMEONE WITH SUCH A BLATANT DISREGARD FOR CONVENTIONAL CRIMINAL FUNCTIONS BAFFLES THE MIND I DEVOTED PAGES OF MY DREAM JOURNAL TO THEORIES AND SPECULATIONS ON THE STATISTICAL IMPO--

Nagisa (later to his friends): I got shot down.

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Makoto: Okay guys, I'd like to set up some swim-practice ground rules. Number one, Nagisa, you gotta stop showing up high. I don't wanna be a wet blanket, but really, we have to focus when we're at practice. And I know that kind of thing can be really fun, one time I took too much children's Tylenol and let me tell you,  I was GONE-- is any of this getting through to you? Nagisa? Are you alright? NAGISA?!

Nagisa: BWAAAAAHH *puffs out large amount of smoke* I disagree with this.

Makoto: NAGISA! Haru! Are you gonna let him keep doing this? ...Haru?

Haru: *coughs out small amount of smoke* yeah Nagisa, you gotta stop doing that.

Makoto: GOD DAMMIT

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Makoto: What goes through your head when you swim Haru?

in Haru's head: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE-- (he's singing the song All-Star)

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Nagisa: I got shot down.

Haru: Did you invite him to that weird club where it looked like the Taj Mahal and everyone was wearing gas masks?

Nagisa: No...yes...maybe...SHUT UP.

Makoto: OOOH I LIKE THAT CLUB!

Nagisa & Haru: WE KNOW.

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Rei: LISTEN TO ME, IF YOU CONTINUE YOUR ATTEMPTS AT FLIRTING I WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES.

Nagisa: So you do admit we were currently flirting?

Rei: what?

Nagisa: Nah, chill, chill, I'm only messing with ya. You're easier to mess around with than Haru and Makoto.