Life is Strange (EreJean)

Sacrifices

I actually ended up having to rewind after seeing Jean for the first time. I was supposed to already know about the accident he had been in and, even though my reaction may have been understandable since it was still my first time seeing him that way in person, I didn't want to risk him being annoyed with my for anything.

Discluding the wheelchair he was in, and the fact that he just looked older in general because of puberty, he really didn't look all too different than he did when he was thirteen. His hair was still blonde, his skin was still all one colour, and his face was free from any piercings.

All I ended up finding out about his accident was that it had been just that - an accident - and that it had left him paralysed from the neck down. It made me feel sick to my stomach from guilt, knowing that I had been the reason it had happened. I hadn't caused his accident first hand, obviously, but if I had just left the past the way it had been then Jean wouldn't be in that damn wheelchair.

Jean and I ended up leaving his house to go for a walk on the path that went along by the beach. Well, I say 'walk', though obviously I was the only one actually walking. Still, I was relieved when Jean brought the idea up, the thought of the waves already managing to calm my nerves a little.

We made our way over there in semi-awkward silence, neither of us really knowing what to say. It was me who ended up speaking first, my eyes widening a little as we turned the corner to walk on the path beside the sand. "Are those whales?" I asked, still staring off at the sand in the distance. Just from where were standing, I swore I could see at least three of them lying on different parts of the beach.

"You hadn't noticed them until now?" Jean questioned, raising a brow at me and rolling his eyes when I just shrugged. "Apparently, they've been there all day. I can't say I'm even surprised at this point, though, after the snow and that eclipse."

Jesus, even in this universe the town was fucked.

"It's kind of worrying, isn't it?" I asked, my voice quiet as I glanced down at him. "It's like it's the end of the world or something."

"Like I'd care," he snorted, looking straight ahead of himself and shaking his head a little. "It's not like I have a life worth living, anyway."

I stared down at him, the words hurting to hear even though I knew I'd feel the same way if I were in his position. "Don't say shit like that, man."

"You know it's true," he mumbled, staring down at the ground for a few moments before sighing softly and looking up at me again with a weak smile. "It's great to see you again, though. And, uh, thanks for keeping in touch and everything - even if it was only with the occasional letter."

At least I had made some effort to stay in contact with him in this universe. "It's good seeing you again too," I smiled, purposefully not commenting on the letters because it really didn't sound like I had tried that hard to keep in touch with him. "It was nice seeing your dad again as well."

"Yeah, my parents are probably just as glad you're back in the area as I am. They're always talking about when we were younger."

"Typical parents," I said, offering a small smile before glancing away and biting down on my lip. "How are they, uh, coping with everything?"

"They're not," he said bluntly, coming to a stop and turning so we were facing the ocean. His gaze trailed down to the ground in front of him, a sigh slipping past his lips. "Sometimes my dad even blames himself for the accident since he was the one who bought me the car." So it was a car accident that left him like this? Fuck, it was like the universe was punishing him or something just because I saved his dad from a car crash. "I think logically he knows it's not it's fault, it's the prick's who cut me off."

"That's insane," I breathed, the guilt in my stomach growing a little. "Fuck, I swear I will totally beat that guy's ass for you."

"Christ," he snorted, shaking his head a little and smiling up at me. "Nice to see you haven't changed," he said, before sighing and staring off at the ocean again. "Don't worry about it, though, okay? Anyway, I think my parents are just glad that I'm still here, really. I could have ended up like that kid from Rose High and disappeared completely."

My eyes widened slightly, staring down at him for a few moments. "You mean Marco Bodt?" Christ, even in this universe he was missing. "Did you know him?"

"I honestly didn't even know his name until now," he mumbled, shifting his gaze up to the sky. "It must be so awful for his friends and family. If someone I was close to just disappeared without a trace, I don't know what I'd do."

"You'd get through it," I said quickly, hoping that the words were actually true.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, because clearly, I handle shitty situations so well."

"You seem to be handling your, uh, situation well."

"You haven't seen me on a normal day," he sighed, staring down at the ground and shaking his head a bit. "Seriously, I'm usually the worst person you could be around."

"I think I can handle it," I assured, and he just gave me a doubtful look in response. I stayed silent for a moment, moving my gaze to stare at the ocean as I tried to think of something to say. "Do you remember when we were kids, and we'd always have movie nights together?"

"And you'd always want to watch High School Musical? Yeah, I remember," he said, laughing a little. "Fuck, I can't believe there was ever a moment where I thought you were straight."

"Oh, says the one who had a crush on Zak Effron," I retorted, laughing a little myself at the memory. "Hey, we should watch a movie or something tonight."

"We are not watching High School Musical."

"I never suggested it," I said, staring up at the sky in thought, humming softly. " What about that zombie movie you used to love?"

"Shaun of the Dead?"

"Yeah! You used to love that damn film. We can watch it together tonight. It'll be just like old times."

"That sounds great," he smiled, biting down on his lip as he hesitantly glanced up at me. "You, uh- you really don't mind staying over?"

"Dude, you're my best friend. Why the hell would I not want to hang out with you?"

"Do you really want me to answer why I'd think that?"

I raised my hands defensively. "Okay, okay, I know. I'm sorry for not visiting-"

"Or calling, or texting, or sending a letter more than once every four months."

"And I'm sorry. Really, I know, I'm a shitty friend, but I'm back now, okay? I swear I'm not leaving you again," I said, staring down at him, nervously waiting for a response.

"Thanks," he mumbled after a few moments silence, staring downward for a few moments before sighing, offering a weak smile as he looked up at me. "Let's go back to my place then."

~

Jean's bedroom had been moved to the garage downstairs since he couldn't exactly go upstairs anymore. It was a pretty nice room, definitely a lot tidier than the other Jean's bedroom. There was also, as expected, a noticeable lack of band posters on his walls. It was kind of weird seeing Jean past puberty without any of his punk shit.

In the centre of the room was his bed, that reminded me of the ones you see in a hospital, which was facing a TV which hung on the wall opposite. On one side of the bed was a ventilator, which he had to use just to be able to breathe, and on the other side was an IV. In the corner of the room was a large desk with a computer on it, and a microphone in front of that. It was nice to see that he could actually still use the computer with voice command, even though I was sure all the tech must have cost a fortune.

"The DVD should be in one of the drawers there," Jean said, nodding his head at the set of drawers underneath the TV. I gave a small nod, going over and searching through the drawers for the film we wanted. It didn't take me too long to find, and I hummed softly as I put it in the DVD player before looking back over at Jean.

He looked away the second our eyes met, biting down on his lip before reluctantly looking up again. "I, uh- fuck I hate this," he muttered, taking a breath before continuing. "I , like, need help getting into bed and sorting out my morphine and shit," he mumbled, looking away again as he finished speaking, clearly hating that he had to ask for help with everything.

"Oh, right. Uh, you gotta tell me if I fuck up , though," I said nervously, going over to him. I let him direct me as I got him in bed and sorted out his ventilator and IV, making sure to double check with him every time I did something to make sure I got it right. Once he was sorted, I moved his wheelchair off to the side and grabbed a wooden chair for myself. I sat down beside him, grabbing the remote and offering a smile as I started up the movie.

Sometime during the following ninety minutes I ended up falling asleep, my head resting on the edge of Jean's bed as I did. When I woke up I had to take a few moments just to remember where I was, rubbing at my eyes and groaning quietly.

"Morning, Eren," Jean said, his voice reminding me of everything that had happened.

I looked over at him, meeting his grin with a faint smile of my own. "Morning," I murmured, rubbing the nape of my neck and sitting up straight in my seat. "Have you, uh, been up long?"

"Not really," he said, rolling his eyes when I gave him a doubtful look. "Seriously, I haven't been awake too long."

"If you say so," I sighed, slumping back in my seat. "Were you okay then? Whilst I was sleeping, I mean."

"I was fine, dude. You don't have to worry about anything, I've already got my parents for that," he assured, sighing softly. "Seriously. My ma came to check on me like five times this morning, even though I keep telling her it's not necessary."

"That's just 'cause she loves you, man."

"I know. Honestly, she does so much for me, and my dad does too. It's just- fuck, they never have any time for themselves anymore and they're always working or taking care of me. The entire situation has been so hard on them and I'm just costing them so much money and I know they can't afford it-"

"Jean, calm down," I said softly, interrupting his rambles. "I know it's hard on them but they can manage it. They know it's worth it because it's for you."

"I just-" he cut himself off, staring downward and sighing. "Never mind. I guess you're right," he mumbled, chewing on his lip for a few moments before looking up at me again and smiling weakly. "Anyway, we've been talking about me since yesterday. Are you doing okay? I mean with moving and school and everything."

"I'm doing good," I nodded, leaning forward in my seat a little. "School is alright I guess. I mean, it's really cool that I get to be taught by a famous photographer."

"It sounds it. I bet you're gonna end up being more famous than him, though I'll doubt you'll come back to teach a bunch of kids."

"God, no, I'd be awful at teaching," I chuckled.

"Best just stick to taking photos, then," he smiled. "Hey, do you remember how my ma used to always take photos of us together?"

"Of course, I do. How could I forget? She loved putting them all in that massive photo album," I said, before realising that the photo I used to change everything should still be in the photo album in this universe. Maybe I could go back and change things to how they were before... "Do you still have it?"

"The album? Uh, yeah, it should be on one of those shelves," he said, watching as I went over to get it. "I haven't seen the photos in ages."

"I bet your ma looks at them every day," I chuckled, going back to sit beside him and placing the album in his lap. "Awh, Jeanie, she even has photos of you as a baby!" I grinned, pointing to the photos on the first page. "And you're in the bathtub too!"

"Fuck, you are so lucky I can't punch you right now," he said, chuckling a little as he stared down at the photos.

"You were so cute, though," I smiled, turning the pages every so often as we looked at all the photos. I let out a shaky breath when we reached the page that had the photo of me and Jean with cake mix on our faces, a few moments of silence following before Jean spoke.

"Eren," he started, the serious tone he had making me worried as I met his gaze. "You know we'll always be friends, right? And that these past fourteen hours or so have probably been the best time I've had since before the accident."

I furrowed my brows a little, shifting in my seat so I was facing him properly. "Dude, you're scaring me a little. What are you getting at?"

"I meant it when I said my parents really can't afford any of the bills for anything, and you should know that my respiratory system is failing and it's only going to get worse," he said, glancing away again and biting down on his lip, giving a shaky breath before he spoke again. "I can't stand living like this anymore, Eren. I've already said goodbye to my parents but neither of them will do as I ask and..." he trailed off, letting out another sigh. "Do you understand what I'm getting at?"

I bit down on my lower lip. Did he really want me to... Fuck, I didn't even want to think it. I had already fucked up Jean's life enough, I didn't want to pile the guilt up even more by taking his life away completely. "Jean, I can't do that," I said quietly, my voice shaking slightly as I spoke. "I can't just- fuck, Jean, I can't do that."

"Eren, please. All you have to do is crank the IV up to eleven and that's it," he said, his eyes wide and pleading. I put my head in my hands, taking a deep breath as I slouched over and tried to think everything through. "Eren-"

"Just give me a moment."

Fuck, there was nothing I wanted to do less than what he was asking me to do but... I knew it was what Jean wanted, I could practically see the desperation in his eyes, and it wasn't like I was really saying goodbye to him forever. I could just honour this Jean's wishes and then go back and make things the way they were before. If I did this for him then at least there was one time where I didn't bail on him.

I took a deep breath, moving my hands from my face and sitting up to face him. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

I gave a small nod, swallowing thickly before standing up and going over to the IV to do what he wanted, my hands shaking throughout.

"Thank you," he breathed, offering a faint smile as I kneeled down by his bed. "You're such a good friend."

"I'll miss you," I whispered quietly, watching as his eyes slowly fluttered shut and his head fell to the side to rest on the pillow. I bit down on my lip so hard it drew blood, desperately trying to keep my breathing steady as I reminded myself that I would see Jean alive again in just a few moments.

With my body still shaking slightly, I reached forward, pulling the photo I needed out of the album and holding it in both hands. After only a few moments of concentrating on the image, I was brought back in time again, being greeted with the flash of the camera similarly to how I had been before.

I didn't intervene this time, of course. Instead, I leant back against the wall, breathing deeply and trying to forgive myself for letting Hannes walk out the door even though I knew it was basically letting him walk out to his death. I forced on a smile when Jean asked me if I was okay, relieved when he didn't question me any further and just dragged me to the television to play video games with him.

The next thing I knew I was back in my original future. My eyes widened at first, quickly scanning the area with my heart beating rapidly in my chest before I realised I was by the wall again. I let out a shaky breath, sliding back against the bricks to sit on the ground. The photo I had of me and Jean was still being held loosely in my right hand, and I couldn't hold any emotions back as I glanced down to look at it.

"Fuck," I whimpered, my breathing deepening as I ripped the photo up. Why couldn't I do something right for once? I abandoned Jean in this universe and then I ended up being the reason he was paralysed and to top it all off I fucking killed him. What if my powers had stopped working again? HIs parents would have been crushed and I would be known as a god damn murderer.

I let out a frustrated cry, throwing the torn up photo off to the side before pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my face between them. My hands dragged through my hair, tugging harshly at each strand as I gave in and allowed myself to start crying.

Even after everything I had put Jean through, I had still told him to stop feeling sorry for himself. Ever since I had moved away there had not been one single moment where I had truly been there for him and yet I still got mad at him for being upset over it. What kind of friend was I? God, Jean deserved so much better than-

"Eren? Eren!"

I snapped my head up when I registered Jean's voice, unsure how long he had been there since it felt like he had just magically appeared crouched down in front of me with his hands shaking at my shoulders. His eyes were wide with worry and before he had a chance to say anything, I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and blurting out everything on my mind.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, holding him tighter as I felt his arms wrap slowly around me. "I'm sorry for leaving you and I'm sorry for not staying in touch. You have every right to be mad at me and I'm so sorry for arguing with you because you were right. I don't know anything and I'm such a shitty friend and I'm so fucking sorry for not being there for you-"

"It's okay, Eren," he said softly, gently running his hand through my hair in an attempt to calm me down.

"It's not okay, though, and I tried to make it okay but I just fucked it up even more and- fuck, Jean, I wanted to save him but it all went wrong and-"

"Eren," he interrupted, pulling back a little so he could look me in the eye. "Calm down. What are you even talking about?"

"I- I tried to save your dad," I said quietly, not really crying anymore though my breathing was still heavy.

Jean's eyes widened slightly at that, his expression becoming unreadable as he looked me over. "You... How?"

"I found out I can go back in time using photos," I answered, glancing down at the shredded pieces on the floor. "I managed to save him but when I got back to the future I found out that you had ended up being in a car accident. You were paralysed from the neck down and you ended up asking me to... to... Fuck, I don't want to say it."

"You don't have to," he said calmly, reaching down and holding onto one of my hands. "I'm sorry I had to ask you to do that," he whispered, pulling me into a hug and holding me close. "Thank you for trying to save him, though."

"I just wanted you to be happy again," I whimpered, my nails digging into his jacket. "I just want you to be okay again."

"You don't have to worry about me, Eren," he whispered, slipping his arms around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss. "I'll be fine as long as you're with me," he mumbled against my lips, slowly managing to calm me down as he kissed me. "We'll both be okay as long as we're together," he assured, and it was all I could do to nod weakly in response as I kissed him back.