Charade

Vic

I leaned forward on the edge my chair, watching my baby girl sleep in the crisp white hospital bed, while half a dozen machines beeped, whirred and hummed all around us. She reminded me of an angel, the way she lied there so innocently, hugging her pillow and burying her face into the fabric.

After Anna and I divorced, Lily suffered terrible nightmares. Almost every night she would come knocking on my door, wondering if she could climb into bed with me. I would smile and pull back the blankets. She would wipe her tears and cuddle up beside me, then sleep dreamlessly until the dawn. She buried her face in the pillow on those nights, too.

"Mr Langley?"

The voice was sweet but sharp, coming with a knock on the door. Dr Faulks entered the room, a smile of pure pity on her face.

"Your ex-wife and her husband are here. I'd like to discuss Lily's situation with all of you, if you don't mind."

I nodded.

"Yes, yes. Of course, I, uh, I'll be out in just a second."

The doctor smiled sympathetically and nodded, closing the door on her way out. I stood up off the stern chair and looked down at Lily, who had not once stirred, and smiled sadly. I leaned down and kissed her temple, feeling how cold she was to the touch, and unfolded another blanket to be safe. Carefully, I pulled the blankets up to her neck and felt a miserable stir inside me. I had to save her. I couldn't let her die like this. I had to do whatever it took to make sure she lived.

I left the room and rubbed my tired eyes. The hour had ticked over to morning sometime in the last ten minutes or so and already my body screamed for either coffee or sleep. Dr Faulks, Anna, and James all waited outside, seated in a line of plastic waiting chairs.

Anna was dressed in six inch high heels and a tight golden dress, which was far too low-cut and high-hemmed to be considered acceptable anywhere outside a strip club. Her short sandy hair was cut to her shoulders, blue eyes identical to Lily's, with slivers on concern lingering in the lighter shades. She hung on James's arm, who looked stern and quiet as ever.

Time had not been kind to my former boss. His hair had greyed and his eyes had wrinkled at the corners. He even carried a walking stick for balance. The only thing that remained was his short stature and perhaps his Irish accent. Everything else was withering with old age and nothing, not even the smallest part of me, could feel bad for him.

I shut the door and Anna met my eyes. She sneered and shot me a look of blame. I gulped because I agreed with her. This was my fault. I looked away just as Anna's phone rang. She left the room to answer it while James made his way to the bathroom. I wasn't prepared to wait for either of them.

"Doctor," I said, touching her arm. "What's wrong with Lily?"

Dr Faulks smiled sadly and led me into a room like looked like an office. A large mahogany desk sat in the middle of the room, covered in stacks of paper and a shiny new PC. The doctor perched herself in the leather chair behind the desk and I sat on a fluffy blue seat in front of it. I laced my fingers on my lap and waited to hear the bad news.

"Mr Langley," Dr Faulks began, "I first want to say that Lily, at the moment, is in stable condition."

"Please," I said. "I didn't ask you to tend to my emotions. Just tell me what's going on."

Dr Faulks gulped.

"Lily's body isn't responding to the treatments. The cancerous cells are simply multiplying too rapidly to control. Lily will start to notice severe fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, among other symptoms."

"Stage two?"

"Stage two," she confirmed.

"And the fatigue – is that what caused her to collapse?"

Dr Faulks nodded. I let my eyes fall to my hands for a long moment.

"How long?" I murmured.

Dr Faulks pressed her lips together.

"A few months, if we're lucky."

"It seems fitting, really, because we both know Lily won't make it past October. And you'll be left here, all by yourself. A lonely old man who will die in a nursing home somewhere, with no one to say goodbye to."

Dr Evans' words echoed in my head, seemingly setting my fate in stone. The weight of a future without Lily, the pain that would come... it all welled inside me, ready to burst me at the seams, but then I smiled, pushed it down, and looked up.

"What about the surgery?"

"The surgery is still the best option, but the chances of Lily getting in on time are slim. My advice is to make the best of whatever time you have left. Take her out. Go on a long holiday. Do what you can with the time you've been given. And of course, we will continue the treatments and look for any signs of improvement, but I'm afraid that's all we can offer, Mr Langley. I'm truly, truly sorry."

In a few moments, I stood up, thanked her, and shook her hand. Then I left, with all my insides dull, and cold, and numb.

© A.G. Travers 2015