onesie. ☤ phan au

seven days before

a.n. \\ double update !!!!! this is bc i was rlly excited to write this one

also all ur favs are dropping dead

v v v short chapter bc another one of ur favs drop dead ( kinda )

january 30 !

phil

"happy birthday, phil!"

my room was covered in confetti and posters saying "happy birthday." i forgot that i'm now twenty years old. i'm a man! i'm an adult! i can do adult-y things now that i'm an adult such as doing my taxes or doing the laundry! but no, i'm stuck dying in a hospital and keeping in mind that my boyfriend is dying and is giving me something i really need to ensure my living.

i sit up and see a whole bunch of people i know: my mum, martyn, dan, and another dude who has bright green eyes and curly brown hair. they are all wearing cheap but shiny party hats and throwing confetti around the room.

martyn walks over to me and puts a party hat on my head. i giggle and watch them as they all sing happy birthday to me terribly.

soon, they place a cake on the slide table thing connecting to the hospital bed and light up the candles that say "20" in while letters outlined in blue which is my favorite color. they come towards the end of the birthday and urge me to blow out the candles. so i do and everyone's clapping and handing me presents to open.

"open mine and mum's first!" my brother grins and sits on the foot of the bed. it was a pretty big present. well, it's medium sized. but it's the biggest present in this whole entire room. "it's to make up for the ten years i missed." i open his present and inside was a brand new macbook with a whole bunch of stickers from television shows and video games i like! also some are cat stickers which i appreciated. "i'm the one who got you the cat stickers, by the way. mum got you the rest. i did pitch in, though."

"thank you, martyn. i appreciate the cat stickers that you have gifted me. it's probably the best thing i've ever gotten.----the cat stickers, not the macbook. the macbook is like garbage," i joke. martyn laughs and punches me slightly which made me smile because that's a brotherly thing to do. i did lose my brother for half of my life so gestures like this makes me happy.

"me next!" says the curly brunet in the room with a faniliar voice. he hands me a card that had a £50 starbucks gift card in it! wow. i don't even know the dude and he gives me so much! "i have so much to say and it's all in that card by the way. it's explaining who i am and why i'm giving you all this."

the room goes silent as in reading, until martyn asks who wants to cut the cake. while doing so, i read the green-eyed kid's card.

dearest philip michael lester,

i know what you're thinking: this crazy dude who showed up at my birthday party that i didn't even know was happening knows my full name. there's gotta be a catch. and there is! i'm dan howell's ( your boyfriend's ) best friend. well, one of his best friends. i know you two are the bestest friends but you know. i was just saying

anyways happy birthday. oh yeah my name is pj liguori. i've known and became friends dan ever since my boyfriend, chriS, died. cool, right? nope.

i'm running late since i'm writing this at like six in the morning and i'm about to head to the hospital to get to your birthday which is like two hours away because i live all the way in brighton. so i'm gonna stop writing now. if you want to know me more, ask dan. or just talk to me. my numbers dow below btw if you wanna text me i'm pretty lonely

well talk to u soon m8

pls don't die,
----pj liguori

p.s. btw pj stands for

the suspense is now killing me as i read the p.s. i want to know what "pj" stands for. i wasn't really thinking about it until now. weird, right? not really. it's just i didn't think about it before but now that he mentioned it, i want to know what it stands for.

i was really surprised that dan didn't give me a gift. i mean, he can't leave. but he should have gotten me like a card or something. it made me sad that he got me nothing. i feel like he doesn't care anymore, you know? or maybe the heart is like my "birthday present" that he doesn't want to tell me until he's on his death bed.

i'm not angry anymore about the "heart" drama. it went past me. i know dan has his reasons for why he doesn't want me to know and i respect that. if i was, for example, dying and i didn't want anyone, especially my boyfriend, to know, i wouldn't tell him. also, it's his business, not mine.

the party goes out into the hall after dan shoos them out like they were sheep into the hallways. i see dan rush towards me and kisses me so passionately. maybe this is my present.

i smile as he kisses me, but frown when he pulls away. he hops onto my bed and crosses his legs as he sits across from me. at the moment, he's wearing a totoro onesie----like the one when we first met. i remember meeting him like it was yesterday. probably because i only met him like two months ago.

"phil lester, i have something important to give you. it's your birthday present, by the way, but i'm not sure how to, well, give it to you without saying something wrong." dan looks away. he also looks out of breath as he's wheezing slightly. this isn't good. i think.

"dan, are you okay?" i ask him. he shakes his head and is looking around looking lost. his breathing heightens and now he's holding and grasping my blankets for support so he doesn't fall over.

quickly, i push the button next to my bed to call for someone. i scoot closer to dan to help him so he doesn't fall, but it was too late. he's about to fall to the ground, but luckily i grabbed him in time to prevent him from smashing his skull against the cold ground.

i check his pulse.

then i scream.