onesie. ☤ phan au

twenty-four days past

a.n. // so i'm still working on studying for finals but i'm taking a break bc my finals for the ones i REALLY gotta study ( the ones i'm only studying for ) are on tuesday and thursday ( the one i really gotta study for is on thursday and the tuesday one isn't as bad as thursday's ) so this'll probably be a short but good chapter ??? ( update: it's not short it's like 2.3k words )

phil

the door opened as i was in the middle of playing some pokemon. i have already beaten the game ( pokemon yellow ) and i just wanted to replay it to kill time. i couldn't visit dan as he was in his room looking more dead than me.

hoping it was dan, it was not. it was just louise standing there with a wide smile on her face. her eyes were dull, though. they looked like sadness. there was a cloud hanging over her head and she just looked sad in general. her eyes were grey and not their full green-blue color. yet she was still smiling like nothing was bothering her.

did i mention that her smile was fake? i've never seen her pull off a smile like that ever. i hang around dan often and i see her a lot. maybe the reason why she's all sad is because dan, her "son," has lung cancer and it's getting worse and worse and worse.

louise walks over to the chair next to my bed. i quickly save the game and carefully set down the gameboy, hoping it won't break. my first gameboy broke when i set it down on a wooden table too harshly. it wasn't broken physically, but inside, it was all messed up. whenever i turned it on, it would immediately crash. sad.

louise takes my hand and looks at me. i sit up and wait for her to speak her words. it took her a moment, though, to actually say the sentence. the five worded sentence: "i found you a donor."

at that moment, i started to sob into my hand quietly. i rip my hand out of hers and hug her as tight as possible. now, i was in full tears. crying my heart out.

i was going to be saved. someone who has the same heart size and probably either universal blood or the same blood type as me is donating their heart to me. they are probably someone who's going to die soon, though. probably a cancer patient who has something that isn't affecting their heart.

i repeatedly tell her the phrase "thank you" for a bit. then, she pats my back. i heard her sniffle.. i break the hug. i wipe away my joyful tears and look at her straight in the eye. "do you know who it is? because i want to know who my––"

"the donor wants to be anonymous. just be happy that you have a donor with a very healthy heart." odd, i thought. maybe it was someone at this hospital who knows who i am and is going to die. probably someone who is the same age as me and is dying.

i smile widely anyways and pick up my phone. i quickly dial my mom's number, but kept messing up. i didn't even notice louise leave the room. she picks up, though, as soon as i got the number correct. i heard her anxious voice croak, "h-hello? phil? you never call me. this––"

"MOM MOM MOM!" i yell into the microphone. "THEY FOUND ME A DONOR! THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A HEART AND I CAN LIVE! I CAN LIVE WITH DAN FOREVER AND BE HAPPY WITH HIM!"

"oh my god, phil, i-i don't have any words. i can't believe you're going to live." i heard her crying in the microphone. i smile and cry at the same time. her voice becomes more clearer and more confident. "who is dan, by the way? is he your boyfriend or friend or someone you met at the hospital?"

"yes, yes, yes, mom. i met him at the hospital. he's my boyfriend and i love him so very much. h-he has one leg since his leg was amputated when he was just fourteen years old or something and he has lung cancer now. they're trying to help him, and i know he's going to live. he's been fighting this cancer, apparently, for two years or something. he lives in the hospital because his parents kicked him out for being gay and-and he's just the best person in the world.