onesie. ☤ phan au

ten days past

a.n. \\ two things: i made a book on wattpad where i post ok poetry, ugly rants, and my weird dreams called "overwhelming thoughts" so you should go check it out bc i wanna be a good poetry writer

second thing is that my friend ( calujm ) wants to be in this story so i wove her into this chapter so if you see someone with the name "jello" that's her k

enjoy this bc next update isn't coming in like three weeks since i have band camp on monday for two weeks ! woo i'm definitely gonna have fun drying out in the sun but i won't regret it bc i get to see the new marching band + there'll be people with big straw hats which is gr9

tw :: involves + mentions death

january 27

dan

choice of onesie: bear

i wake up fine and dandy. i feel like today is going to be a great day because today, i'm going to meet up with mama lester and talk party plans with her. i already invited dodie, evan, emma––wait, i have to remove her from the list because she's dying––tyler, connor, louise, and peej. i was going to invite zoe and tanya, but i learned recently that they got their appendix ( zoe ) and kidney ( tanya ) out and now they're back at home resting for the week.

i invited pj because he's my friend and i want him to meet phil lester. he knows who phil lester is, but he doesn't know what he looks like or anything. yesterday, i told phil lester about pj and how i want him to meet him. i told him that he and peej would become great friends. i know that for a fact.

what i'm hoping for, though, is for pj not to openly speak to phil lester on how i'm dying and how i'm donating my heart to him. i want to tell him when i'm on my hospital bed dying because he wouldn't really be angry at me if i'm dying.

as i stroll down the corridors looking for mama lester to show up, i see someone being taken to surgery. even though they were rushing, i managed to catch a glimpse of their face. it was a little girl who had terrible looking skin.

she had black, short hair and an asian face. i automatically know who it is: jello. her real name isn't jello, though. her real name is charleen. she was a short asian girl who is five years younger than me. she has skin cancer and she was the first patient to ever speak to me. she's sweet. we didn't really talk to each other after a month after my arrival.

i sat down glumly on a cafeteria chair with my chemo. i decided to come here because i was hungry and lonely and wanted to walk around on two legs before they amputate it. i was hoping some cute boy would be here, but there was no one. so, i sat alone with my chemo.

"hi! i'm charleen, but you can call me jello. i have skin cancer! how about you?" she asks in a cheerful voice. i look at her with a dejected face yet she still smiles. i turn my body to her and fold my legs to make a criss cross motion. "also, i like your onesie."

"i-i'm daniel and i have osteosarcoma. i'm getting my leg amputate in a few weeks," i tell her. she smiles brightly and sits down next to me. i shift farther away from her because i don't like people. then she shifts closer to me. i sit up uncomfortably and put one of my legs down on the ground and look her in the face. "a-and thank you." she smiles wide.

"are you new? i think you're new. you seem new. you're taking chemo and your hair hasn't fallen out yet." i look at her as she looks back at me. "i'm not new by the way. it's been two years now and i still have cancer. they say it's stuck in either the first or second stage."