BTS angst one shots + reactions *warning these will be triggering*

Namjoon- remember

Namjoon couldn't believe it. No one could believe it. How could you, y/n have been in an abusive relationship? You were always so happy, there was always a smile on your face. Who would have known that under all that happiness you were hurting inside, who would have known your love for your boyfriend, Jiyong, was abusing you? No one the answer is no one.

Namjoon still remembers that day clearly. He had come to pick you up for you two's annual friendship anniversary movie night marathon. He remembers hearing screams, things being broken and angry shouting. He remembered that all at once he was terrified for his best friends safety. He quickly rung the police and they arrived in a matter of minuets. He remembers being told to stand out the way while the ghastly scene unfolded. Your boyfriend was dragged out the house in handcuffs blood staining his clothes and fists, your blood. He smirked at Namjoon while being shoved in a police car. And that's when Namjoon lost his cool.

He ran inside you and your boyfriends shared house only to find it a tip. Photo frames were scattered along the floor, mirrors had been smashed and the delicate jewellery box Namjoon got you for your 16th birthday was in pieces on the floor.

He remembers hearing your pain filled sobs while police tried to calm you down while contacting the ambulance. And there you where. Broken and bruised laying on the floor. Your blood was everywhere. You looked like you were dying and that scared Namjoon more than anything could ever scare him. He bent down watching you as your tear-filled eyes locked with his.

"I'm sorry."

He heard you say before you were carried of by the medical team. Namjoon fought long to ride in the ambulance with you, however none of your family showed up so he was allowed. Doctors around him were screaming at each other to bring things or do that, however Namjoon blocked them all out and focused all his attention on you. He held your hand while tears were pouring out of his eyes. If you were going to die now he wanted to be the last person you see. 

He didn't hear when that ever so important machine flat lined. He didn't hear when they announced you were dead. The image of your body would be forever implanted in his mind. Your funeral was depressing, each person took turns in reading about you. Even if they didn't know you that well. There was a lot of people there at your funeral. There were people you hadn't even met before. Heck there were even people there from your elementary school. Namjoon didn't listen to anyone's speeches nor did he make his own. All he could hear was the beep of the machine until it turned into one consecutive beep.

Every day now for the past two years Namjoon has woke up in a sweat. He saw you again in his dream and by each day they get more terrifying. So today he is going to end it.

Namjoon hops into his car, to the only place he can feel at peace with you, the cemetery. He walked to your grave stone and after two years of your death it has been kept pretty with flowers and fairy lights since. Namjoon dropped down to his knees and started to sob in front of your grave stone.

"Y/n where do I start? I miss you so much. Life really hasn't been the same with out you. I guess you really don't know how much you miss someone until there gone. I just came to say goodbye because I'm moving on. I don't ever think I'll get over your death but I'm going to try anyway. You just keep haunting me everywhere I go. I'm not going to come back after today but hopefully you'll still be with me watching from above where ever I go. I love you y/n. I didn't get to tell you that when you were alive but I really do, so if you're listening don't forget it. Well I guess this is goodbye now y/n. I'm going to miss coming here..."

Namjoon stood up and wiped his tears away he stood in silence for a few minuets just savouring the possibility of you actually being there, then he turned around towards his car, not looking back, goodbye y/n.