My journey to sexual purity. X

Idolizing relationships/ marriage

  Idolize (verb): To admire, revere, or love greatly or excessively.  

I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I've never looked at a happy couple and felt a hint (or maybe a lot) of jealousy. I'd also be lying if I said I never fantasized /day dreamed about being in a romantic relationship with my dream guy.

I'm not quite sure why, but many people (definitely myself included) have come to obsess over the idea of being in a relationship. The fact that almost every mainstream movie, TV show, book, and song these days revolves around a relationship very brightly highlights our obsession.

Oh yes, and let's not forget the many variations of #RelationshipGoals. The hashtag itself is kind of a community created for us to simply brag about and gawk at our relationships, and those of others. The fact this hashtag even exists, (and is quite popular) highlights even more our relationship obsession.

When you take these simple observations into consideration it becomes obvious that today's society is clearly fixated on relationships. Due to this fixation we tend to put relationships, and the people in the relationships on pedestals, which unfortunately means we look down on those not in a relationship; especially if that person is us. The higher we place relationships on our pedestals the harder we fall (and consequently the worse we feel) when we're reminded of the reality of our singleness.

The reason we put relationships on such high pedestals is largely due to the way we view relationships, and what they have to offer. In our eyes people in relationships appear to be loved, happy, whole, attractive, valuable, and have everything together, and although that may be true, it's only a half truth.

Although sometimes people in relationships genuinely feel all the things previously listed, it's not due to their relationship status, but rather their relationship with Christ.

It's perfectly natural to want to feel loved, happy, valued, attractive, etc., but if you're only seeking these things in a person then you're almost always going to be disappointed. Humans can be great, but let's be real, we're not that great. The same way you can't expect a boy to do a man's job you can't expect a mere human to do God's job. Until you stop looking at man, and start looking towards God you will never be fully satisfied.

Colossians 1:16 tells us that "we were created by God and for God" ...notice that it doesn't say "for a spouse". However, if marriage is in God's plan for your life then yes to a certain extent you were created for another person, but only to partner with them (and vice versa) in seeking God. The Christian walk is hard, and because of this it was never meant to be completed alone. Relationships in general (romantic and platonic) exist to enable us to sharpen one another, lead each other closer to Him, and ultimately be a better light to others. So if you really think about it, it's really all about Him at the end of the day. Relationships/ marriage just happen to play a small role in the main narrative.

Our ultimate goal is to seek and follow Him in such a way that not only brings glory to Him, but also enables others to see His love and glory through us. This is our purpose, and the utmost reason we were created; not for marriage. Marriage may be one of our pit stops on the way, but it should not the finish line nor our ultimate goal.

We need to turn off our tunnel vision and focus on the bigger, and frankly most important narrative. Marriage is a part of our journey, but it shouldn't be the actual journey. Marriage is not the pinnacle of our journey, but rather just a segment of our ultimate journey.