Alice

18.

interlude.

I shake my head. "No. You can't. Not if you're not willing to commit."

"What do you want me to say?" He looks irritated now, eyes scanning my face. "You want me to call you my girlfriend? Will sticking an imaginary label on you equal commitment?"

His tone made me reel back. He was mocking me. I don't think he meant it in a sinister way, but it still hurt.

l open and close my mouth, resembling a fish out of water. "I...I just—"

"Tell me. Is that what I have to do? Should I just wear a name tag from now on that says 'Alice's Boyfriend'? Will that make me any more committed than if it just said 'Charlie'?"

"Stop."

"You don't even know what you want."

"I do."

"No, you don't," he chuckled. "You want me, but not me. You want the guy you think I am, and I don't know who you think I am, but I'm not him."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I want you, but I want the you that's willing to call me your girlfriend. The you that doesn't give me mixed signals all the time."

"You know what I want? I want easy. I want simple. I want to just be me with whoever the fuck I want, without worrying about hurting feelings or feeling like I'm trapped in—"

"Oh, that's how you view relationships? Like they're cages?"

"They're complicated. I don't need complicated, alright?"

"Good, because neither do I." I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head. My eyes looked him over. Took in his messy hair and his pretty eyes and the semi-permanent frown on his face. My lips tilted up. He was too damn cute.

"Fuck," he mutered, shaking his head. "You're a pain in the ass."

"What do you think that makes you?" I shot back.

His lips twitch. "I don't know."

Silence fell. I wanted to stay. Wanted to talk a little more, fight a little more until he realized that he was being unreasonable. But I had my answer.

"What do you want, Alice?" He moved towards me. "Hm? You want me to hold your hand, walk you to class? Kiss you in public? Call you baby or princess or some shit? Would that make you happy?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but he stepped even closer until there was no gap between us. Suffice to say, my mind completely spaced. So I was forced to settle for staring up at him, eyes wide and mouth hung upen.

He smiled. "Can I kiss you? Right now?"

I nearly said yes. Instead I held my ground and shook my head. "Maybe I should go."

I made a move to leave, but his hand caught me before I could go. He pulled me back, keeping me in place. Cigarettes. Air. It's crazy how addictive his scent has become. His eyes met mine, and I could see the sincerity in them. I leaned i to him instinctively.

"I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. The kindest. The smartest. The most considerate." He reached up. Tucked my hair behind my ear. I was frozen again. My lungs weren't functioning. "I think you think I'm hard to get to know. Stubborn. Reserved. An asshole sometimes. I think that despite that, you think I'm someone worth knowing. Worth caring about. I think that's what makes you beautiful.  Your ability to see beyond the surface."

His lips brushed mine ever so slightly. "I think I want to make you happy. Even if it means calling you my girlfriend. Even if it means sitting with your friends and getting to know them, because you want us to get along. Even if it means holding your hand and swinging our arms while I walk you to class. Even if it means watching movies like the Notebook or whatever the fuck you like. Even if it means doing all the cheesy and corny shit you want me to do. Even if it means it's not easy or simple."

"Know why?" He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head in response, because no, I had no freaking clue why he changed his mind.

He shook his head, as if I should have known the answer by now. "Because I think you're worth it too."