The End
I woke up. Machines were beeping in a slow and steady pace. There were footsteps walking back and forth. The T.V was on, and people were talking. I didn't want to open up my eyes. I wanted to keep sleeping. I wanted to die in my sleep.
"Poor boy.... Not much time... Probably going to go today...." One lady was saying quietly. I couldn't pick out all of the words, but it sounded like they were talking about me.
"Benjamin, wake up." A man said in a gruff voice. My eyes opened slowly. It felt like I was slowly tearing a band-aid off of my eyelids. The man was standing to the right of me. I slowly turned my head, and it hurt so much. I gasped sharply in pain, and that hurt even more. A tiny tear ran down my face, washing some of the clammy sweat off of my face. At least it felt good to cry.
"You have company." He said. I made a sound in my throat, which was almost like a whine but more quietly.
I turned my head the other way slightly. My family was standing there. Well, my Aunt Marie, my sister and my brother were standing there. They were both dressed in black and it didn't suit them at all. Mom and Dad were probably too busy to come out.
"Ben..." Aunt Marie choked on her words. "I'm so sorry." She looked horrified at the sight of me. Even my siblings looked away. I didn't mind. I would look away too if I were them.
"Please don't cry." I mumbled. Every word I spit out sounded so... Not like me. Like a demon was inside me, pretending to be Benjamin. My throat was on fire, burning up towards my mouth.
"Smile," I tried to, but my mouth didn't cooperate. My brother and sister looked like they would rather be anywhere but here. They probably wanted to be home too, and wouldn't miss me when I left.
I wasn't stupid; I knew what was going on. I was dying of cancer. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. But my parents liked to smoke, a lot. I don't blame it on them; it was just that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"Auntie..." Sister called from the mirror. "I hate this dress! Take it off me! I look ugly!" My brother tried to tug it off her.
"Now you found out firsthand what it's like to be me." A voice said at the back of my mind. I stared at the T.V. It was a commercial selling some closet divider thing. Imagine that, you spend your last few minutes of living staring at the T.V, just waiting to die. It's not so scary now, because I know that it must feel better than this. I couldn't feel anything; it feels like my lungs are on fire and filled with toxic waste whenever I breathe. Everything hurts. Chemo is supposed to make you feel better, right? Wrong, it makes everything feel 10 times worse.
Auntie was talking quietly around the corner, probably talking to Mom and Dad on the phone. My sister and brother were also around the corner and you could hear them shrieking. I wanted to die, right now when no one was watching.
"When I grow up...." I mumbled softly. "I want to be nothing at all."
~ It was "Bring in your Parents Day". We all brought in our parents and showed them to the class. My parents didn't come. They were too busy sleeping. So instead, I sat at my desk watching all of the policemen, the firefighters, the bakers and the secretaries come in. After we showed our parents to the class, we had to tell the class which parent we wanted to be when we grew up. When it was my turn, they all asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
"When I grow up..." I had said, and thought about it. There were a million jobs in the world, but which one did I wanna do for the rest of my life?
"I don't know what I wanna be." I finally said.
"There must be something." The teacher said to me. I shrugged and waited for her to send me back to my desk. She looked mad.
"Ben, there must be someone you want to do."
"No, not really," I had answered. "I don't know what I would do."
She stared at me for a few minutes. "Alright Ben, you can go sit down now." And then the next boy went up. ~
In a way, I guess it kinda worked out okay, dying at the age that I am. I mean, I still have no idea what I would be if I didn't have to die. I would probably be a circus clown. That would be fun.
Auntie Marie came back. "Ben, we have to go now. Tobey has swimming lessons in an hour. I told your mom that you would be okay and she is coming to visit you tomorrow." She kissed my forehead. It was a slimy kiss, and I wanted it off.
"Goodbye..." I whispered. I didn't have enough strength to speak. I was the weakest I've ever been. I was ready to die, right now. They all left, leaving me in my misery.
"We should give him the needle now." The doctor whispered to the nurse. "He can't live for another day. His system is crashing."
The beeps on the machine grew slower, and slower. He was right, I couldn't live another day. I was too tired, and everything burned and hurt and it was pure hell to keep on living.
"Okay Doctor." The nurse said. She got a baggie of clear liquid and put half of it into another baggie. She slowly dumped it into a clear baggie that had my blood in it, or someone else's blood. I wasn't sure. The bag had a needle attached to it and she poked that needle into my vein. She also put 4 other ones into my other veins. I still stared at the T.V, trying to concentrate on falling asleep.
Suddenly, the drugs hit me like a train. I screamed and grabbed the nurse's hand. I squeezed as hard as I could and screamed again. The liquid was traveling through my veins, and I could feel it. It burned, it was horrible. Everything hurt and was throbbing. My heart was pounding faster and faster. I screamed, for my mom, my dad, Aunt Marie, everyone I could think of.
"No one can hear you." A voice in the back of my head said, so I finally stopped. I closed my eyes and let go of the nurse's hand. I didn't need it anymore because I was dead. I finally gave up. Anyone who wanted to visit me had today. I wasn't going to wait around anymore. The machine gave one final beep and my heart stopped.
