Alpha Brothers - The Trickster (book 4)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21
Bleu
I was curled into a ball at the base of a tree. Tears fell from my eyes, no matter how much I tried to make them stop. All the anger that I felt before, all the power, was gone. All I felt was numb.
I did the one thing that I had promised myself I would never do. Use my magic for evil. It wasn't the first time that I had but I had been under duress, forced to by Harrison. But I had sort out to hurt Callum, Malcolm and Archie. I went to the library because I knew exactly where they would be. I saw their guilty expression, knowing what they were talking about. Me. Using my power and strength I could draw on from Graham's blacked out body, I threw them across the room. And in their confusion, I called upon their wolves.
The girls didn't realize what was happening till it was happening. And when they did, they were almost as furious as I was. I was hurting their mates after all and their brothers. And I would have hurt them – even Tarna if they had tried to stop me.
I dropped my head in my lap and cried harder.
The look on Graham's face. He was horrified. I knew he had never believed me even when I told him that I had become a weapon. That I had forced people to submit to Harrison. I don't think he never really understood that I could be that person. But he saw it. He saw it hurting his family. He'll never see me the same way again.
"Little Witch?"
I jumped at the sound of Graham's voice and slowly turned my head and spied him peeking behind a tree. I guess I was still horrible at covering my tracks. He tried to give me a smile, his normal crooked grin but it only made me cry harder.
"God, please don't cry," he begged, coming in front of me, cupping my upper arms in his hands.
"I'm so sorry, Graham, I'm so sorry," I cried, tears running down my face.
"Shh, it's okay, it's okay," he said, cupping the back of my neck.
"No, no it's not okay," I whaled, "I tortured your brothers, I listened and allowed your sisters to beg me to stop. I didn't even stop when you came into the room."
"You were angry, it happens to the best of us," he told me, trying to make me free better.
I shook my head, not allowing myself to feel comfort from his words.
"No, don't try and justify my actions," I told him.
"I am, you were upset. You maze well have been forced to do it."
"No," I said, "being forced is when someone has put a gun to your head or threatening to kill your children. There was no one doing that to me. I could have stopped whenever I wanted to."
When he didn't say anything, I knew he agreed with me or had no other ideas to try and convince me otherwise.
It didn't matter. I dropped my head and tried to cry though I'm sure I was all cried out.
"I can't go back, Gra," I admitted, "I can't go back to the girls, knowing that they hate me. I can't look Callum, Malcolm and Archie in the eye knowing that they traded me over for just simple answers and knowing that I had tried to make their wolves take over. I know –."
"Then we'll go away. We'll go to your family in France."
"And tear you away from your family?" I asked, "Do you think I could do that? You pretend like you don't care about them but you do. You have a tattoo on your back for them."
"I got that a long time ago. You're more important to me than they are?"
"How can you say that?" I asked, making him frown, "Their your family your talking about and I'm the person that caused them pain."
"They caused you pain."
"It doesn't matter. You're supposed to feel something. Anger towards me because I hurt members of your family, your pack, not to mention your bloody Alpha King."
"How can I feel anger towards you when I love you?"
"That's the problem. You're so motionless."
"You get like that when you –."
"When you've seen death, I know."
He frowned, "No. When your Ma is taken from you."
That's when I frowned.
"I told, I was close with my Ma, more than my other siblings. When I didn't have anyone to turn to, I turned to her. When she died, it was gone. That connection was taken away and I became the trickster. The stirrer. Anythin' to annoy my siblings because I had no one to tell me no."
My mouth dropped, realizing that I had upset him again. Why do I continual to do that? God, I should never have accepted Graham. I should have ran away when I had a chance. And it wasn't because Graham did something wrong. It was all because of me.
Through my cries, I whaled, "just reject me now."
"What?" Graham asked, offended.
"I'm a pathetic excuse for a mate. I've disappointed you."
"What, no? Stop this, stop this right now," he told me, shifting closer to me and wrapping an arm around me, "I love you more than anythin'. And I would give up this world in a heartbeat if that was what you wanted," he paused, "is that what you want?"
I knew it was the simplest path. Move to a foreign country where no body knew us, where we could start fresh, have babies, have our own family.
But Graham would never be happy. He says that he would be and maybe even think he would be. But he wouldn't be. This land was apart of him even if he didn't think so and so was his family, not to mention the bond of a pack to a wolf. And I couldn't do that to him or his wolf.
But I don't think I could go back either. I couldn't live in a house where I knew that they would trade over a person for just little answers. Knowing that a creature's life meant so little to them as long as theirs was safe. And I couldn't face them, knowing that I had hurt them too.
I just needed time.
"I need time by myself," I told him, "I'll make my way to France or go somewhere else, I don't know."
"Well, let me take you to the airport."
I shook my head.
"No, I need to do this by myself."
He frowned, "don't be stupid, Bleu. I'll take you to the airport."
I shook my head, trying to stand my ground.
"It's time I start doing things by myself."
He looked torn. He knew this was what I wanted and what was best for me but he couldn't get up and walk away.
"I don't want to stay goodbye to you," he admitted, not looking me in the eyes.
"It's not forever," I promised, "it's just till I sort out my head."
"This isn't how it was supposed to go. We were supposed to meet, for in love, mate and live happily ever after, that's it."
"And it will be," I said, feeling my eyes sting with tears.   
I didn't want to say goodbye to him too.
"This is just a small bump in the road," I croaked, feeling a lump the size of a golf ball form in my throat.
Graham's pale blue eyes filled with tears as did mine. I tried to be strong but I couldn't do it.
"Please don't go," he begged, cupping my cheek.
"No I -."
Before I knew it, his lips were on mine. Knowing that I wouldn't feel them for awhile, I latched on hard, opening as wide as I could so that his tongue could enter. The salty taste of tears mixed with the taste of his mouth making the ache in my heart worse.
When he did let go, I wasn't ready. I hated myself for doing this to myself as well as him.
Just take the easy road, a small voice inside of me said but I just ignored it. I needed to do this.
All my life, I had lived someone else's. My parents, Harrison even Graham. Now it was my turn.
Knowing that he would never walk away from me, I sniffed and stood, walking into trees and mist pretending that my heart wasn't breaking.

Graham
She left. She actually got up and walked away. She disappeared into the mist, leaving my life just as easily as she came into it.
I couldn't move for minutes. Just stayed in my crouched position, blinking away the tears as my heart ached with the separation. My numb body kept me still and kept me frozen in time.
She actually left. I honestly thought that she would come back with me. That she loved me enough to get past today and just be with me. I honestly thought she would take up my offer to leave this place that I could never call home. Not now. Not after this.
When I got back to the house. I found Allie sitting on the stairs waiting for me.
All I could do was drop my hands to my sides and allow the tears to fall.
"She's gone, Allie," I croaked.
She was in my arms before I even realized.
"She's gone."
"I'm so sorry," she said into my chest, "it was never supposed to end like this."
"Why does it always happen to us?" I asked her, "Why do we always come second best?"
"I don't know, Gra," she said, her grip tightening, "I don't know."
"Graham."
At the sound of Callum's soft voice, we broke apart and found the three of them and their mates coming down the stairs.
As soon as I spotted them, I snapped. Why did they get their mates and I didn't?
"Don't you even try and make this better?" I warned Callum, knowing he would, "my mate is out there, by herself because of you."
"Wait," Amy stopped, "you let her go?"
"What else did you expect me to do?" I shouted, "Drag her back, kidnap her? I'm not you three, remember?"
"Graham, we did it for everyone," Archie said, "who knows what Macangus had planned?"
"We could have tortured the lad!" I yelled, watching Callum swallow, "like every other pack. We could have done the human thin' and torture the bastard that abused my mate."
"We didn't know," Callum choked, feeling the pain that was so clearly written on my face.
My eyes landed on the tight grip Liv had on his hand, trying to comfort him. That once would have made me envies before I pushed it aside and thought it was grouse and lovey dovey. But now it just made me furious.
"Why do you get to happy and I don't?" I asked, more tears dripping from my eyes.
"Graham," Liv choked.
"No, Liv," I said shaking my head, "enough's enough."
"What are you goin' to do? Leave?" Malcolm asked, "You can't."
I shook my head. There was no point without Bleu.
"No, I'm goin' to stay," and just as I saw relief on their faces, I wanted to take it away, "only because when Bleu wants to come back, she'll come here. And I want to be here when she does."
With that, I made my way to the stairs. Just as I went past him, Callum grabbed my arm.
"Please, Gra," he begged, "don't turn your back on us."
He had seen it coming, even before I did. I guess this wasn't the first time this face had been worn in our family.
"My mate is in that forest because she wants to live without me, while you live happily with your new wife," I growled, not looking at him, "how do you think I'll ever forgive you for this?"