Boy in a Girl's Body

Chapter 12

Song: "The Transition" - Hawthorne Heights

My father's acceptance, I think was what made me think that everything would be okay. Silly me. Silly me for assuming that all of this would blow over at some point. That poeple would find some new toy to play with. What greater toy could high schoolers stumble upon than a tranny? Honestly, for them there was nothing better for them to poke at than me. I didn't fight back before, and I certainly didn't fight back this time. 

I didn't have time to turn around. Just the pounding of footsteps, being pushed, then black.  When I came to, teachers were staring wide-eyed at me. I could taste blood, and my head felt like someone had stepped on it. My side, which had only been a bit stif this morning was screaming. My breath came in painfull bursts and the longer I was awake, the more everything hurt. EMTs came, blinded me with lights, and asked me questions too quickly for me to asnwer.

Next thing I knew, I was being strapped to a stretcher, a crowd of students watching and pointing at  me. I swear I could even hear a few of them laugh. Of course they would laugh. I deserved it.

I closed my eyes, tears running free, I couldn't hold them in anymore. The hate was too strong, the pain overtakng everything, both physical and emotional. While I felt them load me into the ambulance, I heard a voice beg to ride  along. A female voice. A voice I would know anywhere. Wendy.

I opened my eyes to her tear-streaked face. Her glorious eyes wide and shinning. She clung to my hand strongly; her warm hands made me realize then just how cold I was.  I shook under the sheets, out of fear and chill. What had happened to me? I couldn't remember anything about the morning, not even my ride to school, or getting out of bed. Just footsteps.

The lights were blury, the figure of the EMT that watched me seriously was fuzzy around the edges.  Wendy's grip on my hand tighted, drawing me eyes back to hers. Somewhere in the jumbled mess of my brain, a few lyrics came to mind:

Shine On, Shine On,Shine On Diamond Eyes

Shine On, Shine On,Shine On Diamond Eyes

Shine On, Shine On,Shine On Diamond Eyes

I looked at nothing else, not one other thing than her for the remainder of the ride. She spoke to me, but I couldn't hear her words over the singing in my head. But that was fine. I wasn't afraid like I had been just moments ago. Her hand in  mine, her eyes were all that mattered. So long as she held on to me, I knew I'd be okay.

 I was seperated from her when they wheeled me into the emergency room, a flury of movement and painful white lights swallowing me. They tell me that I passed out then. Which explains waking up in a hospital bed, my mother passing the room, damp tissues in hand. My father was the first to see me wake, rushing to my side and kissing my forehead.

My mother clung to me, sobbing into my shoulder, mumbling something about her poor baby, poor baby. I stared at my father, questions in my eyes. He'd see them I was sure. My throat hurt too much to talk, for some reason.

"Steph-Eli, someone attacked you at school. You hit your head, and they roughed you up a bit, but you're okay now. You have a concussion; you needed some stiches, but you're all fixed up. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." His words were sweet and smooth, strong. If said I was going to be okay, despite how I felt, then it was true.

Eventually, my mother left to go pick up Ashley from school, my father stayed with me, reading aloud to me from his novel. I didn't understand the plot, but it had the soothing affect that was intended. My father didn't question me about my attackers, or even try to pick at me for information.

A nurse came in, fiddled with the IV, painkillers, she had said. That's what they had given me, that was what the IV was for.

A police man came in, asking me if I knew who went after me, I tried to speak, but everything got stuck. Tangled in my throat. He left shortly after he came, understand in his eyes. He told me to rest, and that we would talk later.

 My father went back to reading, giving unique voices to each character, like he was reading a kid's story book. I couldn't help but smile though, cracking my lip when his voice shot high and squeaky. I had a smile on my face when Ashley zoomed in, a pile of pink and shimmer moving at the speed of light. 

"Stehpy! Stephy, are you okay? What happened?!" she threw her twig arms around me, crushing her tiny body to mine. I hugged her back, unsure, and in shock at this. She never hugged me. Only when we were little, or possing for a picture. She clung to me like a vine, refusing to move, my father managed to talk her into letting go of my neck so I could breathe.

But, she curled up against my side, taking up the empty space on the bed. She wove her long fingers through mine, holding on tight.

It was only then that I remembered Wendy, how fiercely she had hung on to me on the ride here. Her hellfire eyes calming me, despite the chaos and pain whirling in my head. I wanted, more than anything to thank her for being there. For keeping me on the ground when it felt like I was get blown away. I wanted to tell her I was okay.

I opened my mouth to ask for her, but one of my mother's fingers covered my lips, cracking again.

"Shh, baby. Don't talk, I know you're throat hurts, but just stay quiet for a little. Do you want me to get you some ice cream to help you feel better? Chocolate, right? You love chocolate." Her voice was desperate, pleading for me to let her care for me. Her mothering instincts shinning through. I nodded, watched her leave the room in search of the best ice cream she could find. 

 Ashley rubbed my arm, turned my hand over, still holding hers. She still loved me. They all did. Even after all of this, the changes and the stress I was putting them through. They still loved me. I hoped, beyond hope, that that would never change.