Boy in a Girl's Body

Chapter 1

Her boyfriend looks like a cat. He really, really does. I haven't seen a mug like that before, I think I'm gonna have nightmares.

Why would she want to date him anyway? He won't treat her right, besides, he bullies people. Okay, fine, by people, I mean me. But, lately, everyone was taking jabs at me. Coming out as Female-to-Male transgender apperantly upsets people. I'm waiting for them to alert the village elders so they can burn me at the stake.

Okay, maybe it's not that bad. But it's deffinetly had negatives affects on my social life. I used to float undetected in the halls, not noticed, therefore , not bothered. Now, I was the school tranny. Circus freak material, as far as they were concerned. I could think of a handful of people that were worse than I was, more freaky, or just generally demented, and even they got treated better than I did as of late.

I knew this would happen when I finally told people, but it still sucked all the same. 

I threw the covers off, and hopped off my bed, reaching for my chest binder, pulling it over my head before I llooked in the mirror. It was vital to my self-esteem that the first thing I saw was a masculine me. Ozzing many vibes, practically growing chest hair.

What? I can dream, can't I? Sheesh...

I twisted and turned, taking in the sight of my flat chest in every angle. I couldn't wait until my chest would be flat without the aide of a compression binder. But that was years away. I wasn't even on testosteron yet.

 I shook out my short hair, giggling at the way it felt. I had just chopped my locks off recently, the day I came out. I can remember mom's face while she drove me to the barber shop. Her eyes still shiny from crying when I told her and my father. But she had offered to take me after I dropped the bomb.

After she cried, yelled for a bit, then  hugged the shit out of me. But, hey, she wasn't kicking me out, or taking me to an exorcist. I was lucky. But taking me for a haircut was not exactly saying that she accepted me as her son. But, I figured I'd take what I could get.

My father had stayed silent throughout the entire ordeal. Giving me the silent treatment for three days before he came around. The only comment he made that related to the whole things was a matter of fact 'You'll need some new clothes'.

My only sibling, my younger sister Ashley, had reacted as I expected. She wrinkled her nose at me, tossed her hair and told me I was weird. I laughed and went on my way. I took the weird comment as a good sign. It meant she wasn't going to write me off just yet.

I looked around my room for clean clothes for school - it seemed to be a common trend for guys to wear dirty clothes, but there was no way in hell I was doing that - taking time to select the clothes that would hide my curves, accent my shoulders, and hang just right over my chest.

After much adjustment, grumbling, and a mini freak out, I settled on a button-down black shirt, and a pair of baggy Tripp jeans with purple stitching. Even when I was living as a chick I had only worn black. Painted my nails black, worn thick black eye liner. I wasn't going to change my style too much.Just loose fitting clothes that I got from the men's sections of thrift shops.

I slipped my tiny feet into my combat boots, started lacing them up, keeping my eye on the mirror. Not too shabby. The hair gave my look a nice edgey feel. Now I just needed some eyeliner to wrap everything up.

I grabbed the black penicil, gliding it under my eyes with a skilled hand, doing the same to the top, nopt letting up until I resembled a racoon. Men could wear eyeliner.

I squared my small shoulders and looked at myself, up and down before I started my daily chant.

"I am all man. I am all man. I am all man. Manly, manly, manly." I rocked back on my heals, repeating the phrases about two thousand times before I opened my eyes. I could deal with all of this. Things would get better, I just had to stick it out.

I stomped out into the hall, tearing into the kitchen. I smelled bacon. Sure enough, Mom was sliding the steaming slices of heaven onto a plate. I could feel the drool running down my chin, my stomach demanding the deep fried delicacies.

I reached for a strip, only to get bit by a wild spatula.

"Geez, Mom, I need food!" I shook my hand lightly, smiling at my mother who was shaking her head at me and my lack of manners.

"Sit down, eat it off a plate like a nomral person. You're not an animal. Contrary to what you believe." She placed two strips of bacon on a plate with toast and dropped it on the table that was in the middle of the room, motioning for me to take a seat.

I plopped in the chair, ruipping into the food, day dreaming of mountains made of bacon, and deep voices. 

"Oh, I picked a new name out." I chewed on the toast, waiting for a dish to drop, or for her to start screaming. Silence.

"Have you? What is it?" She didn't sound upset, just a little sad. I understood it. It was going to be a huge change for everyone, I would wait as long as it took for them to adjust to everything. Especially my mother. I knew this was going to be hardest for her.

"Elijah. Eli, for short. And for a middle name, I was thinking Alex." I turned to stove, studying her body language. Her shoulders tensed slightly, but other than that, there was no change.

"Elijah. It is nice. But...I just don't know if I can...do that. I-I-I mean, this is all so sudden.." her voice cracked at the end. Her head bowed, showing her pain and struggle with all of this. Guilty overtook me, but didn't stay long.

I stood and placed a hand on her shoulder, speaking softly so I didn't scare her. "You don't have to. I know this is hard for you guys.. I don't want to rush you. I can wait, however long it takes, Mom. Really."

I squeazed her shoulder, stepping back. She needed some space, I guess, to digest things.

She looked up at me, then, tears running down her face. "I just, I'm not ready to say goodbye to my daughter, just yet. I just, I love...you so much. More than anything and I can't let my baby girl go."

"I know, Mom. But think of it this way, now you really know me. I'm not going anywhere, I'm just being more honest with everyone now. But I understand. I do. Thank you for breakfast, it was great. I gotta run. I'll see you after school, okay?" I pecked her on the cheek, tasting a salty tear that clung to my lips.

As I stepped out of the kitchen, I heard her call out to me, in a small voice: Be careful.